Verbatim
'Women serving in the U.S. military today are more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than killed by enemy fire in Iraq.' JANE HARMAN, California Representative, during a congressional investigation into how the military handles reports of sexual assault
'I am not a stupid person. They were telling me how to vote.' A WAL-MART SUPERVISOR, saying the retail giant warned its managers that a Democratic President would support unionized workers
'What Iran is doing is pure vanity.' COLONEL MUAMMAR GADDAFI, Libyan leader, on Iran's confrontation with the West over its nuclear program, saying the country risks the same fate as Saddam Hussein's Iraq
'She is surrounded by family, friends and fabulous jewels.' DICK GUTTMAN, publicist for Elizabeth Taylor, disputing rumors that the 76-year-old Hollywood icon is on life support
'I asked Barack Obama what he wanted for his birthday. He said, Indiana, Colorado and Virginia.' JOHN KERRY, Massachusetts Senator, jokingly referring to three potential swing states that Obama hopes to win in November
'Even the patience of the brothers was being tested by our slow Internet.' FATHER DANIEL VAN SANTVOORT, Cistercian monk, on his Welsh monastery's decision to get broadband access
'If I had perfect foresight, I would never have taken this job in the first place.' RICHARD F. SYRON, Freddie Mac's chief executive, dismissing claims that he ignored internal warnings that could have prevented the company's fiscal crisis
Back & Forth:
Paparazzi
'Evidently Lindsay Lohan has gone gay.'
Los Angeles police chief WILLIAM BRATTON, saying tabloid photographers don't need regulations because Hollywood actors like Lohan have settled down
'Police chiefs shouldn't get involved in everyone else's business when it comes to their personal life.'
LOHAN, calling Bratton's remarks inappropriate
'No one is more supportive of gay rights than I am. My sister is gay.'
BRATTON, defending his comments
Congress
'No person--not even Karl Rove--is above the law.'
U.S. House Judiciary chairman JOHN CONYERS JR., after voting to cite Rove for defying a subpoena to testify about the firings of top Justice Department officials
'The ranking Republican members sent me 15 questions, and they've been answered. They're now on my website, Rove.com.
ROVE, saying the White House wants to protect the doctrine of separation of powers
Humor (or Lack Thereof)
'We are creating a cross-departmental task force to study the importance of humor in the corporate workplace.'
Circuit City spokesman JIM BABB, joking about the chain's decision to temporarily ban Mad magazine for its "Sucker City" spoof ad
'We accept their apology but hold out hope that their gesture of a $20 gift card is only an opening offer.'
JOHN FICARRA, editor of Mad, after receiving Babb's statement and the offer of a Nintendo Wii coupon
Sources: CNN; Wall Street Journal; New York Times; AP; Washington Post; BBC; New York Times
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