People

THE SCORE GOOGLE NEWS HITS + GOOGLE BLOG HITS = THE SCORE

Nicole Richie's planned turn as camp counselor on The Simple Life (helping kids with, among other things, weight loss) got celebrity blog THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP musing that Heather Mills could soon be "showing poor women how to marry for money." That's unfair: it's more like Godzilla teaching urban planning. SCORE: 2,211

A lawsuit filed by Carol Burnett claims Fox toon comedy The Family Guy stole her Charwoman character, theme music and signature ear tug. Blogsite CELEBRITY FIRST warns, "If all parodies end up with legal actions, there should be a separate ministry to deal with the lawsuits." Sadly, CF, there is such a ministry: it's called the Judicial Branch. SCORE: 1,662

Music producer, perm enthusiast and accused killer Phil Spector showed up for jury selection in L.A. last week with a shaggy new do. N.Y.C. gossip site METADISH celebrated: "We are glad that, although we may get distracted by the details and evidence, we are still able to focus on important matters, like hair, in a murder trial." SCORE: 1,490

To atone for assaulting her maid with a phone, supermodel Naomi Campbell began community service on March 19 at the N.Y.C. Department of Sanitation. Her job: mopping and sweeping. Her hat: Chanel. PEOPLE.COM said, "Another day of cleanup, another drop-dead outfit for Naomi Campbell." Mmm ... work-vest orange. SCORE: 690

A recent industry confab gave clips of the movie-musical Hairspray a standing ovation. John Travolta, who reprises the drag role of Edna Turnblad created by Divine in the original '88 John Waters comedy, told EW.com's POPWATCH, "I was hoping to [come across] as a woman, not as a man doing a woman." You go, girl. SCORE: 649

TIMELINE

Indiana Jones, that prized pop artifact (64, in Harrison Ford years), has a fourth film in the works and perhaps a new lady on his arm. Here's the arc of Indy's dating history.

MARION: Memorably embodied by Karen Allen, Marion (Raiders of the Lost Ark) was a two-fisted drinker, a bare-knuckle fighter (unless confined to a wicker basket) and a perfect romantic foil for the rakish Dr. Jones. She was Rosalind Russell to his Cary Grant, Bette Davis to his Errol Flynn--in short, a helluva dame.

WILLIE AND ELSA: Kate Capshaw took a lot of guff for her portrayal of insufferable showgirl Willie Scott in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. But the writers were also to blame. Far more appealing was Alison Doody's treacherous Elsa in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade--and, Holy Grail, she was a Nazi!

CATE BLANCHETT: The 37-year-old Oscar winner is in negotiations--does that mean she'll be Indy's girl? Or, dare we think it, Indy Jr.'s mom? Or maybe ... she's involved with Jones pere (Sean Connery). Now that's archaeology.