Punchlines

"The Democrats say they are raising the minimum wage--because something must be done to protect Kevin Federline's future." CONAN O'BRIEN

"The U.S. Army has launched its new recruitment slogan, ARMY STRONG, which replaces its previous slogan, AN ARMY OF ONE. Meanwhile, the U.S. Navy is sticking with its recruiting slogan: IRAQ--IT'S ALMOST ENTIRELY LANDLOCKED." SETH MEYERS

"KFC is dropping the KFC logo and going back to the name Kentucky Fried Chicken--with a new, updated picture of the Colonel. The new Colonel will be more realistic looking. This time he's 350 lbs. with huge scars from his triple bypass." JAY LENO

For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons