Inside Tom DeLay's Head

By Mike Allen

Shortly before Representative Tom DeLay announced he would leave Congress by summer, half a dozen advisers were on a conference call debating how to unveil their stunning secret. Suddenly, DeLay's Texas twang silenced the chatter. "Anybody wanna hear what I wanna do?" he asked mischievously.

Befitting a tactician and power broker who once ran the Capitol with equal parts guile and muscle, DeLay did it his way as he prepared to leave public life. He shunned the weepy contrition deployed by disgraced predecessors over the years and instead went out pummeling. He threatened to make one of his last acts an ethics complaint against Representative Cynthia McKinney, who later apologized for striking a Capitol Police officer. He said conservatives needed a new leader. He accused Democrats of "criminalizing politics." He said lobbying reform would be a sop to "the left." Although he has been indicted in Texas on money laundering and conspiracy charges, two of his former aides have admitted to committing crimes while on his payroll and federal authorities continue to investigate his relations with lobbyists, DeLay said he would have done nothing differently.

"I'm proud of my record," he said by phone while being driven to a golf course four days after TIME.com broke the news that he was quitting. "I'm proud of the last 11 years of changing this country and, indeed, changing the world. Why would I feel bad about it?" DeLay first disclosed his plans to resign in a lengthy interview at his kitchen table in Sugar Land, Texas, a forum he chose because he wanted to lay out his thoughts in detail rather than try to break through the cacophony of a news conference. "I'm a realist, and I know politics," he said, referring to poll numbers showing he could lose his November re-election race. "There's no reason to risk a seat. This is a very strong Republican district. It's obvious to me that anybody but me running here [as a Republican] will overwhelmingly win the seat."

The former pest-control entrepreneur says he had been contemplating a departure for months, and his struggle in last month's Republican primary helped cement his plan. He says he prayed repeatedly and even fasted, and made the final decision the day after receiving a thunderous response to a speech he gave in Washington at a War on Christians Conference on March 28. "The enemies of virtue may be on the march," he said, "but they have not won. And if we put our trust in Christ, they never will." He said the adulation convinced him he could do more good for the conservative movement on the outside than in government.

Friends, who had been worried about DeLay's increasing stress and growing girth, say he feels liberated. He just turned 59, and he celebrated by having dinner with his pastor and attending a gala for child advocates, whose cause he has long supported. He plans an aggressive schedule of speeches to promote foster care, the infusion of Christian faith into public life and the election of Republicans to all offices, great and small. DeLay said he has not ruled out becoming a lobbyist, and friends would not be surprised if he went that route. "He has to make a living," one said. DeLay told TIME he also wants to be a campaign strategist and has ideas for new techniques that will allow Republicans to "sneak up on the Democrats, and they will never see what's coming."

DeLay, who was in Congress for 21 years, must still fight the Texas charges that cost him his post as majority leader last September. He will be long remembered for the big grin he struck in his mug shot when he was booked. "I said a little prayer before I actually did the fingerprint thing and the picture," he said. "My prayer was basically, 'Let people see Christ through me. And let me smile.' Now, when they took the shot from my side, I thought it was the fakiest smile I'd ever given. But through the camera, it was glowing."

Asked if he had done anything illegal or unethical in office, he quickly replied no to each question. Asked if he had done anything immoral, he gave the same answer and then caught himself. "Are you kidding?" he asked with a chuckle. "We're all sinners." DeLay said he has been overwhelmed by the outpouring from well-wishers--including, he said, some that "I really didn't expect even cared about me." But love has its limits. DeLay said he does not know of any Republicans who have invited him to appear with them on the campaign trail this fall.