People

By Rebecca Winters Keegan

Q&A MACAULAY CULKIN

Grownup child star Macaulay Culkin's semiautobiographical, stream-of-consciousness novel, Junior, comes out this month.

Who will read this book?

Voyeurs. Teenagers. I'm not exactly sure.

It's a little odd. Have you considered that readers may think you're insane?

People have been telling me that. I've led a very isolated existence since I was 6 years old. It's kind of been me and my mind. I hope people don't think I'm crazy because I'm not. I might be feeding into it.

Your book includes many lists, including people you hate. Explain.

My therapist suggested making lists. Some names are blacked out, 'cause my manager was like, "I'm not sure you should put that there." Like Steven Spielberg. I like him. He makes great films. But the man has a formula. Here's how you arrange the scene, and you're gonna cry at the end. That's why he was on the list.

With Pinochet?

But it comes from a good place. All people are flawed.

How do you see yourself in Hollywood today?

I don't know where I fit in. I don't know what people want from me. I'm the most out-of-work actor I know. In the last two years I've basically taken meetings for a living.

Did you consider doing something else?

I thought about sports management. As a 4-year-old, I didn't say I wanted to be an actor. Acting found me. I thought maybe I should try to find it again. We'll see.

Have you been in touch with Michael Jackson since he left the country?

We talked on the phone once. He's doing O.K. I mean, yeah, he's a friend, but the kind of friend you talk to twice a year.

Are you and [That 70s Show's] Mila Kunis engaged?

Not yet. We've been together four years. I enjoy cooking for her. I do a really good shrimp scampi. I lead a simple life. I feed the fish. I walk the dogs. I cook dinner. Occasionally I take a meeting.

GEORGE CLOONEY, WATCH YOUR BACK It's not what he's famous for, but M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN has been in every movie he has directed. The roles have not exactly been seminal; he played a doctor in The Sixth Sense and a guard in The Village. Now, finally, he has given himself the lead--in a commercial. Shyamalan took it quite seriously. "I really did approach this commercial as a two-minute movie," he says. "We filmed it in the movie way, over two days, 12 shots a day, with movie people and movie actors." The commercial, for American Express, shows all sorts of spooky things--a woman catching a fly with her tongue, diners disappearing like shattered glasses--that happen at a restaurant while Shyamalan watches. Fans will need to pay for his next effort: Lady in the Water, starring Paul Giamatti, which comes out in July.

OLD FRIENDS Lisa Kudrow's The Comeback is done, but these Friends are there for you.

MATTHEW PERRY Chandler's gig: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip The buzz: NBC's fall comedy show about a comedy show is seriously smart for the funny Friend

DAVID SCHWIMMER ROSS'S GIG: Broadway revival of 1954's Caine Mutiny Court-Martial The buzz: Well, at least he's not reviving 1996's The Pallbearer

MATT LEBLANC JOEY'S GIG: NBC's Joey returns this week. The buzz: Television's most hyped spin-off has spun out. It's time for Joey to turn in his SAG card

COURTENEY COX ARQUETTE MONICA'S GIG: A tabloid editor on F/X series Dirt The buzz: Look out, US and In Touch--Cox is most appealing as a meanie

JENNIFER ANISTON RACHEL'S GIGS: Spring movies The Break-Up and Friends with Money The buzz: Not nearly so compelling as her own relationship dramas

CBS GETS STERN WITH HOWARD

Just in case HOWARD STERN was running out of villains to decry on the air, his old boss, CBS CEO LES MOONVES, has stepped in to help. CBS Radio filed a fraud and breach-of- contract lawsuit seeking more than $200 million from the radio host, his agent and his new employer, Sirius Satellite Radio. The suit says Stern spent his last 14 months at CBS talking up Sirius and hiding a deal to earn stock for boosting his new company's subscriber numbers. Stern calls the suit a "personal vendetta." On the upside, it will give him months of material for his show. And these days, he can curse.