Learn How to Behave

By Andrea Sachs

Business is not dainty. So who needs etiquette? Those who want to succeed, says Jacqueline Whitmore, author of Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work. "It's not about tea parties," she says. "It's about competition. What my clients tell me is that they need an edge. What can help them get ahead are these nuances." Whitmore's take on the workplace:

SHAKING HANDS "The business arena is gender neutral, or it should be. So it doesn't matter who extends a hand first, man or woman. Give a firm handshake; give eye contact. The most important thing is always stand when someone shakes your hand. When you stand, it shows respect. It's about making the other person feel important."

SOCIAL KISSING "The majority of people I have interviewed don't like it. They're uncomfortable with it. But when I went to Europe last month, business people who never knew me but whom I was introduced to would give me the double kiss. We are living in a global society, and we have to learn to go with the flow sometimes. If it doesn't cross a line or it's not sexually oriented, let that person kiss you and move on."

E-MAIL SALUTATIONS "You can never go wrong calling someone Mr. or Ms. until they give you permission to call them by their first name."

E-MAIL THANK-YOUS FOR BUSINESS GIFTS "It's adequate, but it's not the preferred method. It's better than nothing. If you have a choice, which most of us do, get out the handwritten note. It will make a huge difference."

BUSINESS LUNCHES "Executives tell me that their pet peeve is colleagues talking with their mouths full of food."

DRINKING "If you're entertaining clients who don't drink, don't drink. If you've got one person at your table who doesn't drink, order a bottle of wine for the rest of the table."

USING SPEAKERPHONES "Speakerphones were designed for conference calls. I believe that should be the only use, unless you let the other person know. It's rude and it's deceptive not to. What I say to the caller is, 'I'm getting a lot of feedback' or 'It's so hard to hear you. Am I on speakerphone?' They'll pick up the phone right away and say, 'Oh, yes. I'm sorry. Is this better?'"

BUSINESS CARDS "Wait for someone to ask for your card. Don't pass them out like you're passing out flyers on the corner in Times Square. If you really want to give somebody your card, ask permission: 'May I give you my card?'" By Andrea Sachs