Punchlines

"President Bush welcomed Vietnam's Prime Minister to the White House today. He promised he would travel to Vietnam next year--that is unless his dad can get him out of it." --JAY LENO

"They had a thing downtown yesterday--some idiots were putting up a 17-ton Popsicle--so for one day only, the coldest thing in New York was not Hillary Clinton." --DAVID LETTERMAN

"A court in Germany has ruled that soldiers in the German army should be allowed to keep their mullets and ponytails. In a related story, the German army is now doing most of its recruiting in New Jersey." --CONAN O'BRIEN