At Last, It's My Time!

By Andrea Sachs

Abigail Trafford is adamant: "Forget old age. Think new stage." Trafford is the author of My Time: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life (Basic). The book, for people edging past midlife, argues that because we are living longer, healthier lives, we have a "whole new stage in the life cycle, which we haven't had before." TIME spoke with Trafford:

What has created this new phase?

Longevity and health gains. In 1900 life expectancy was under 50. The big bonus now is health span [survival without disease or disability]. At 50 you can look forward to 20, 30, 40 years of vital life.

How can people adjust to the fact that this is often a culture for the young?

I think My Timers are in the process of changing that culture. However, ageism is prevalent. How many women over 50 do you see as television news anchors? We are a society that is programmed for 30-year-olds. My sense is that in the next 10 years, we are going to see an upheaval.

Isn't all this contingent on staying healthy?

You need a basic level of vitality in this period. Most people have that. But there's a significant minority of people who are blindsided by a terrific loss of health.

Do people at that age feel the press of time?

Absolutely. You get little meetings with your mortality--just having to read the menu with your glasses, getting an annual PSA test for prostate cancer, an annual mammogram. These are reminders that your time is limited. What you see in My Timers is a sense of urgency. This translates into a great energy.

How did you come up with the term My Time?

I went to a college reunion. It was an all-women's college, and we were all in our 30s. We were in that high-stress zone. We were trying to make it in the workplace; we were making it in our marriages; we had small children. We were just torn apart by the demands of our lives. We were trying to make everything work. I remember one classmate stood up and wailed and said, "When is it going to be my time?" That stuck with me.

Why do people seem to talk less these days about retiring?

I think what's over is the old notion of retirement, of getting a gold watch, of going to Florida, sitting on the beach and doing nothing else. That was the model when people didn't live very long beyond retirement. Now to retire and do nothing for 30 years is not an option.

Why do people often reconnect with old friends at this age?

It's the recovery of people that you knew and old friends and people that you loved. Relationships become primary at this phase. In those busy years, you didn't have time to keep up a lot of friendships. In My Time, it eases up.

You write that some people become focused on leaving a legacy.

Sure, people want to leave traces. The simplest of private legacies is the handing down of a family Bible, for example. There are great public legacies--people who may have accumulated a great deal of wealth, and they give a wing on a hospital.

What has your experience as a My Timer been like?

I'm 63. I do aerobics, and I see great joy in this period of life. I'm very lucky. I have love and work, redefined for these years.