Feud Of The Week

By Rebecca Winters

CHRISTINA ("LOCK UP YOUR SONS") AGUILERA

AGE: 23

OCCUPATION: Singing Beautiful, while making us all feel a tad Dirrty

BEST PUNCH: Told Blender magazine that while rehearsing for last fall's MTV Video Music Awards kiss with Madonna, Spears "seemed very distant ... like a lost little girl, someone who desperately needs guidance."

BRITNEY ("LOCK UP YOUR LIPS") SPEARS

AGE: 22

OCCUPATION: Perpetually proving she's Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

BEST PUNCH: Responded that after she hadn't seen Aguilera for two years, she "comes up to me in a club and tries to put her tongue down my throat! A lost girl? I think it's probably the other way around."

Winner: Spears--because she French-kisses other women only to sell more albums. That's classy