The Bush Flight Suit Walks into a Bar ...

By Bruce Handy/Glynis Sweeny

Wednesday afternoon. A Washington watering hole. A familiar-looking flight suit bellies up to the bar ...

Diet Coke, please. And a Woolite.

Hey, don't I know you from somewhere? Wait, don't tell me. I got it. You were Ice Man in the Top Gun sketch last week at the G.I. Joe--collectors convention. Am I right?

Not exactly.

Want to hear a story? I was all set to be the star of as many TV commercials as a $200 million campaign war chest can buy ...

"But now that major hostilities haven't exactly ceased, it looks as if I'm headed for mothballs. I'll be lucky if I end up at the Smithsonian next to Calvin Coolidge's Indian headdress ..."

This isn't Lyndon Johnson's girdle.

Can we GO now?

It could be worse. You could be evidence. You could be stuffed in some DRAWER at the special prosecutor's office for months on end.

Don't mind her. She's just an easy Clinton joke.*

*They're still irresistible nearly three years after he left office!

Anyway--sigh--I told them that banner was over-the-top, but those darn sailors insisted ...

Hey, fellas. Anyone got change for the parking meter?