People

By Benjamin Nugent

All in a Lather

"I probably wouldn't say this in front of white folks," says CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER, as the codgerly Eddie in Barbershop, "but Rosa Parks didn't do nothing but sit her a__ down." Turns out he probably shouldn't have said it in front of certain black folks either. Al Sharpton and associates of Parks' have taken offense. The movie, which has been selling more tickets in America than any other film, also has Eddie slagging black activists like Jesse Jackson. Every other character in the room either objects or laughs it off--the remarks are just the cranky opinions of a grumpy old man. But Sharpton sent a letter to MGM, asking the film's distributor to cut the scene. Jackson wasn't amused either; he said that while he could ignore getting personally knocked by Eddie, "there are some heroes who are sacred to a people, and these comments poisoned an otherwise funny movie. Why put cyanide in the Kool-Aid?" So far, the movie's fans have exhibited no ill effects.

15 MINUTES KELLY CLARKSON, AMERICAN IDOL

As the Monkees demonstrated long ago, there's no better medium than television for putting chipper, derivative pop singers on top of the singles charts. KELLY CLARKSON, 20, the former cocktail waitress from Burleston, Texas, who won Fox's American Idol talent contest along with a record deal with RCA, hit the royalties jackpot with A Moment Like This, the song she performed on the show's finale. The tune rose from its early slot of 52 on Billboard's Hot 100 to No. 1. Next month she starts a U.S. tour with nine former rivals, including runner-up Justin Guarini. By the time that's wrapped up and Clarkson has finished her first full-length album, contestants for Idol rip-off shows should be just about ready to try to bump her back into obscurity.

POP QUIZ WILL THE REAL ARTIST PLEASE STAND UP?

So you think you really understand the minds and souls of Marilyn Manson and Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood. Then take TIME's Name That Rocker-Painter Quiz! If you can figure out which rock star did which painting on the basis of subject, mood and overall aesthetic, then, dude, you are really feeling the music. One of these is a Wood canvas, on sale for $95,000 at New York City's Pop International Gallery, which opened a showing of Wood's work last week. The other is a Manson original, on display at Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibitions. Wood considers himself primarily a portraitist: "I've drawn people when I'm sitting talking to them--God knows how many I've given away. I studied people like Durer, and I was heavily influenced by the Impressionists as well as Rembrandt," he says. Manson's show is titled "The Golden Age of Grotesque." "People are actually buying my paintings," he marveled at the opening. (For the answer, see bottom right.)

ANSWER: LEFT, WOOD; RIGHT, MANSON

Top This One, Survivor

What do you miss when you're adrift on a merciless ocean? "Mostly TV," admits Californian RICHARD VAN PHAM, 62, who says he was stuck in a boat for nearly four months on the Pacific's high seas. Pham says a voyage planned as a three-day trip to Santa Catalina Island went scarily wrong when a hook attached to his mast snapped and his radio went dead. He says he then floated for 2,500 miles, living at first on a two-month supply of rice, beans, tomatoes and water, then on rainwater, tuna and turtles, until he was rescued by a warship. Attention, network executives: heartwarming tale of perseverance against the odds, right in your own backyard.

INTO OVERTIME

When you think of wizards, you think of old men with long white beards. Itturns out the image is appropriate, as39-year-old MICHAEL JORDAN announced plans to return to the Washington Wizards next season despite his rickety knees. "My love forthe game of basketball continues to drive my decision," Jordan explained in astatement last week. He asserted he feels "very strong," despite knee problems that sidelined him for 22 games last year. Coach Doug Collins said he plans to use Jordan as a sixth man coming off the bench. Jordan isn't so sure; he hinted he'd like to start. Guess who is going to have the final word--and shot.

SECOND ACTS SOLIDARITY WITH FISH

When politicians leave office, they tend to spend their time flying around the world giving speeches on things like globalization and nation building. In other words, doing pretty much the same stuff they did when they had a job. But LECH WALESA, 59, founder of the Solidarity movement in Poland and that nation's President from 1990 to '95, is turning his nonpolitical hobby into a second career. Starting next month, Walesa will be host of a regular fishing show on Polish public television. But the devoted angler and 1983 Nobel Peace Prize winner, who is doing the show gratis, hasn't promised to stay away from his former career when he's on-air. "I will be a tough critic. I will praise and I will criticize. But the atmosphere of the show will be relaxed--the way it is when you go fishing," he said. "I have so much to say on so many subjects, as a witness and a participant, that we could go on until my retirement." Is it possible that no one told Walesa, who got 1% of the vote in a run for President two years ago, that this pretty much is his retirement?

THE END OF THE UNIVERSE

When you think about it, it's harder to be Miss Universe than it is to be, say, Mother Teresa. Nobody was on Mother Teresa's case todo good and look good. No surprise, then, that the Miss Universe crown passed from Russian OXANA FEDOROVA, near right, to her runner-up, Panamanian beauty JUSTINE PASEK, last week, after it became apparent Fedorova could not or would not perform her duties. "Miss Universe typically spends about 85% of her year working with various health organizations to fight AIDS around the world," says a Miss Universe Organization spokeswoman. "Originally, Oxana came to us and said, 'I need three weeks off to defend my dissertation.'" That was no problem. But after she "went AWOL" in August, according to the spokeswoman, and then asked for December off as well, the organization decided to remove Fedorova from her post. Russian newspapers quoted her as saying she voluntarily gave up the job for school and to look after her ailing grandfather. Where have all the superficial pageant queens gone?