Put a Sock in It

By Bill Saporito

Shaddup already! Being a proper Englishman, not to mention general manager of the posh Monarch Hotel in the Georgetown section of Washington, George Terpilowski would never think of using such language. But Terpilowski, and dozens of other service providers across the country, would dearly love to get a

message across to the increasing number of guests who think that the best way to get decent service is to operate at bullhorn level and ratchet up the volume from there. "Unfortunately, as a culture we've decided the only way to get what we want is to demand it," says Terpilowski, a veteran hotelier who has run top-rated inns in a number of major cities.

Terpilowski has a secret for you. It doesn't improve your chances. "Service personnel have become anesthetized by the obnoxious," he says. And here's something to consider: he manages to get the best tables in restaurants, ocean-view guest rooms and first-class airline seats without redeeming miles for upgrades or getting pushy with a maitre d'. He's not trading professional courtesies either.

Getting what you want may start with a simple hello and some basic manners, he says: "Remember, these folks have control of your destiny." They deal with self-styled big shots making big demands all the time, says Terpilowski, so you might try something different. "A brief, personal conversation can be a refreshing change of pace and will go a long way toward getting you what you want," he adds.

You're thinking, Sure, George, you don't have to deal with airline nightmares, brain-dead service people, broken air conditioners or AWOL room service. Actually, he does when he travels, and he doesn't put up with hassles. And neither should you. Got a problem with a room? Is a waiter's performance less than acceptable? Terpilowski advises that you ask for the manager and state your case. Just keep in mind that a reasonable request will almost always be honored. "A little human kindness and understanding may get you more than you asked for," he says.

Of course, a little human kindness comes in short supply when things get choppy. Consider a three-day power outage in Georgetown that played havoc with the Monarch's air conditioning over a steamy June weekend. It created textbook examples of good and bad guest behavior. There was the jerk who spent 15 minutes screaming for a cooler room--hey, was that you? The obnoxious one ultimately got what he asked for. But so did the guest who simply requested to be relocated. The only difference was 14 minutes of unpleasantness for everyone in the hotel lobby. "That kind of rudeness is completely unnecessary," says Terpilowski. "Yes, both guests got exactly the same treatment. But the more pleasant of the two left with his self-respect intact and didn't add to an already difficult situation."

What does Terpilowski tell his own staff? Listen carefully, and try to anticipate needs before they arise. "To me, staff who delight and surprise the unsuspecting guest are not only providing exceptional service at work, they're likely to carry that behavior into their personal lives," says Terpilowski. He notes that he's inclined to leave a better tip for the amiable waitress who goes out of her way to do something unexpected than for the one who provides good service but does nothing to create a memorable dining experience.

So the next time you arrive at the front desk after one of those trips from hell have left you looking like a recently freed hostage, someone might take kindly to you if you try not to take it out on him or her. Turn down the volume, even when things aren't going your way, because the folks on the other side of the counter can't hear the screaming anymore.