News Quiz

By Joel Stein and Josh Tyrangiel

1. To start the NFL season, George Bush planned to:

A) cook up some "There Goes the Economy" chili B) rename the Redskins' owner's box the D.C. White House C) handle the opening coin toss D) "love tackle" Vicente Fox

2. This picture shows:

A) why Prince Charles will never be King B) a brutal cold snap in England C) how Prince Charles got his stigmata D) a woman giving Prince Charles money for breast-cancer research

3. The FBI found a strand of Jimmy Hoffa's hair:

A) in a 1975 Mercury Marquis Brougham B) behind the photocopier C) in Jason Sehorn's cleats D) in J. Edgar Hoover's teeth E) on Jimmy Hoffa's head

4. What did Anne Heche NOT tell Barbara Walters?

A) she talked to God using an invented language B) Ellen provided her best sex ever C) her auto-biography is called Call Me Crazy D) she was really proud of Six Days, Seven Nights

5. The next Austin Powers sequel will be called:

A) Octoshaggy B) Thundershag C) Moonshagger D) A View to a Shag E) Goldmember F) Phoning It In

ANSWERS: 1-c, 2-d, 3-a, 4-d, 5-e