People

By Josh Tyrangiel

Jibba Jabba with T

Yes, fool, that is the suddenly ubiquitous MR. T you've spotted in ads for 1-800-COLLECT, Lipton foods and Nick at Nite. "This is my comeback," says T, 48. "I'm here to entertain the people like no one else can. But you have to have a setback in order to have a comeback." T's setback came in 1995, when he was diagnosed with, no kidding, T-cell lymphoma. After initially keeping the disease a secret, the man baptized Lawrence Tureaud decided to confront cancer head on. "I said to myself, 'T, you used to kick ass in the 'hood. You joined the Army so you could kick butt. And you scared of this?' I decided to bring cancer out of the closet. Now I wear my cancer like I wear my blackness--I'm proud! [Loud grunt.]" Mr. T is still in treatment and admits he has had to turn down some projects: "I do get tired. But I needed cancer to test my faith. Now I feel the presence of God in me. I can go to sick people and say, 'Yeah, I'm Mr. T. I got cancer too.'" And, yes, he still pities the fool.

INSTANT KARMA'S GONNA GET YOU

Put out an album titled Forever, and you're just setting yourself up. Four months after releasing that eternity-promising flop, the SPICE GIRLS may have been struck a fatal blow. Last week Melanie Chisholm (second from left) revealed that while she will "always be a Spice Girl," she doesn't actually want to be in the Spice Girls. "It doesn't really feel that natural to me anymore," said Chisholm. The Spice Girls weathered the loss of Geri Halliwell in 1998, but Chisholm is believed to be the group's best singer--faint praise, perhaps, but when you're an act more critically reviled than 98[degrees], you take praise where you can get it. Chisholm released a solo album in 1999 and plans to begin another in May. A spokesman for her former bandmates said, "There are no Spice Girls plans at the moment. I think they will sit down and take a view at the end of the year, although there is no date in the diary."

CAP AND GOWN--MASK OPTIONAL

Fans of irony circled March 6 on their calendars months ago. That was the day MICHAEL JACKSON lectured at Oxford University about the state of global childhood. During his half-hour talk, for which he arrived three hours late, the singer made reference to what he termed Generation O--"a generation that has everything on the outside...but an aching emptiness on the inside." Mostly Jackson used his time to paint a Hallmark Hall of Fame-style narrative of the emotional abuse heaped upon him by his father Joe. "I wanted a father who showed me love, and my father never did that," said Jackson. "He never gave me a piggyback ride; he never threw a pillow or a water balloon at me." After the speech, Jackson remained in England to serve as best man at the wedding of psychic spoon bender Uri Geller. Again he was hours late, forcing Geller to improvise and hold the reception before the ceremony. Somehow, Geller did not foresee Jackson's tardiness.

PERHAPS HE NEEDS KEVIN COSTNER'S SERVICES

RUSSELL CROWE didn't bring Meg Ryan or Jodie Foster to the Golden Globe Awards in January. Rather, he was escorted by several men visibly straining the integrity of their tux fabric. The FBI confirmed last week that the men were federal agents, brought in as a last-minute precautionary measure after the bureau learned of a multimillion-dollar ransom plot against Crowe. The actor, who starred as a kidnap-and-rescue specialist in Proof of Life, was made aware of the threat but decided to attend the awards anyway. Crowe's publicist says her client has increased his personal security team but has not missed any scheduled public appearances. Crowe expects to attend the Academy Awards on March 25 since he is nominated for Best Actor for his role in Gladiator. If his date is wearing a dress, we'll know the threat has passed.