People

By Josh Tyrangiel

It Doesn't Get Any More Vintage

Old people are many things. Good voters, cautious drivers--not to mention loyal followers of Andy Griffith's career. But fashion plates they ain't. So one of their own, world-famous designer PAULINE TRIGERE, 92, is helping out with a line of accessories especially for stylin' seniors. "When I go to the theater and the movies at night," says Trigere, "I see many people with walking sticks, and most of them are not pretty. If you get dressed to go to the theater, why shouldn't you have a nice gold stick to go with your gold jewelry?" The Trigere collection, making its debut online next week at goldviolin.com also features such practical items as a red ostrich box for pills and a matching purse to hold hearing aids. More ideas are on the way. "If you are in a wheelchair sitting down, I want to make something to cover your knees. I'm sure you can buy lots of little blankets somewhere, but I would want mine to match my bag."

SHE DID NAME HER DAUGHTER CHASTITY

If CHER could turn back time, if she could find a way, she'd really like to kick the stuffing out of some nuns. On Sisters of Mercy, a song from her Internet-only release not.com.mercial Cher gives the lyrical smackdown to nuns that ran an orphanage where she stayed as a child while her mother waitressed at an all-night diner. The singer calls the sisters "mothers of shame," "masters of pain" and "twisters of truth," which doesn't quite rhyme, but makes the point. The Catholic League is unimpressed. "Much like the rest of Hollywood," says a spokesman, "she is trying to sell her CD on the backs of Roman Catholics." Considering the album's title and mode of sale, it doesn't sound as if she's trying to sell her CD at all.

BEN AFFLECK, THE HISTORY CHANNEL

Without prompting, BEN AFFLECK, the star of Pearl Harbor, can deliver a recitation on the history of American isolationism that includes references to the America First movement, Charles Lindbergh, Wendell Willkie and F.D.R.'s neighbor's-house-on-fire, lend-him-a-hose speech. He's not dating Gwyneth Paltrow--but it's clear he's been spending some quality time with Doris Kearns Goodwin, who's foxy in her own way. As for the movie: "I play a guy who believes we should be in World War II," says Affleck. "I have kind of a John Wayne idea about war. And then I go to Europe to fight in the Battle of Britain and discover that it is in fact vicious and awful and miserable." Affleck's character is thought dead by his paramour, who begins an affair with his best friend. "When I come back and I am in fact alive, there are some difficulties." Comic difficulties? "Not comic difficulties. No zany high jinks of hilarity. Mr. Roper does not appear in Pearl Harbor." Wait until the test audiences have their say.

WHAT LIES BENEATH--OR WHO?

Proving he's the smartest celebrity in the world, HARRISON FORD decided to save the announcement of his separation from E.T. screenwriter MELISSA MATHISON, his wife of 17 years, until Election Day, when most of the news outlets were occupied with other things. (If only Hugh Grant had been sharp enough to have gone for a drive on Super Bowl Sunday...) Following proper Hollywood protocol, Ford and Mathison released a joint statement through his agent: "We have been living apart for the past month. We sincerely hope we can work out our differences." Separation rumors began swirling when Ford, 58, was photographed following the VH-1/Vogue Fashion Awards sipping champagne in the company of Lara Flynn Boyle, 30, former flame of Jack Nicholson, 63. Ford's agent describes speculation of a tryst as "false and inaccurate." Ford is a little young for her.