For the Little Monster

By By Melissa August, Val Castronovo, Matthew Cooper, Daniel Levy, Ellin Martens, Michele Orecklin, Julie Rawe, Alain Sanders and Josh Tyrangiel

Kids can be so nasty, but not without the proper accessories. The innocent days of yo-yos and roller skates are long gone, if the cruel or unusual products on display at last week's 97th annual American International Toy Fair in New York City are anything to go by. Coming soon to a wish list near you:

1 Whackin' Yakin' Punchin' Pals: The punching bag that talks trash: "Come here, wimp!"

2 Chain Mail Smith: Do-it-yourself medieval metal-armor kit; no child should joust without one

3 M-16 Air Rifle: Looks just like the real thing, with no background checks required

4 Chastity Vampire Assassin Doll: Until there's Leather Daddy Barbie, kids will just have to make do

5 Infection 101: The board game of sexually transmitted diseases, for high school students

6 Boy Crazy! Trading cards for pubescent girls featuring real boys plucked from America's shopping malls. Why stalk famous people?

7 Billy-Bob Teeth: The thrill of Appalachian orthodontics without all the mussin' and a-fussin'