If It's Tuesday, You Must Be Tarzan

By Frank Pellegrini

So what are we to make of the scientific study that came out last week showing how women let their biological calendar choose their mate? Maybe this: no matter how highly evolved we think we are, at some level the female of the species, like the male, is still a slave to the brain's prehistoric hardwiring.

According to the study, which was published in the journal Nature, women who are ovulating tend to favor manly-looking men--big jaws, prominent eyebrows, larger overall size--you know, the kind of Tarzan stuff that is supposed to scream virility. During the other three weeks of the month, however, women seem to prefer the smoother, more feminized models--sensitive-looking types who would presumably be more likely to stick with Jane and nurture Boy over the long haul.

The research, conducted by Japanese and Scottish scientists, may be a wee bit flimsy, as it is based almost entirely on how 104 Japanese and British women responded to some digitally altered photos. But it's reasonably intuitive and might explain such phenomena as the brevity of the Carmen Electra-Dennis Rodman marriage. It also jibes with what evolutionary psychologists have been saying for some time. When it comes to settling down, women know that the alpha male may not be the best bet for the "parental investment" required to raise a human child. But when the biological bells are clanging, they still want his genes.

In the modern world, of course, a man's wallet and social skills probably mean more to a woman than the size of his chin. But the study does yield a piece of practical advice for all those nice guys who struck out last weekend: if at first you don't succeed, try, try again--for at least a month.

--By Frank Pellegrini