And Finally, in Closing

By Harriet Barovick, Autumn DeLeon, Michelle Derrow, Tam Gray, Daniel Levy, Lina Lofaro, Anne Moffett, David Spitz and Chris Taylor

TEACHER'S PET Al Gore (1), at Graceland College: "We should treat teachers like professionals--we should pay them like professionals"

SALUTE-ATORIAN General Norman Schwarzkopf (2), University of Richmond: "America is you, beginning today"

MOST DIPLOMATIC Bill Bradley, at the University of North Carolina: "I was fortunate enough never to have to play against [UNC grad] Michael Jordan"

LEAST DIPLOMATIC Cokie Roberts (3), at Duke University, whose men's basketball team was upset in the NCAA finals: "I must say, it's nice to look out on this football field and see a group of winners"

CLASS CLOWN David Bowie (4), at Berklee College of Music: "How does a tuba player answer the telephone? Hello, Domino's"

PARTY ANIMAL George W. Bush, at SMU: "You no doubt take with you...memories such as Saturday nights hitting the books hard at the Green Elephant and emptying fish bowls at LuLus. For you parents, I'm not talking marine biology here"

MOST LIKE A GEORGE John F. Kennedy Jr., at Washington College, paraphrasing the first President: "Labor to keep alive in your breast that celestial spark of fire called conscience"

MOST FORCE-FUL James Earl Jones (5), the voice of Darth Vader, at Vassar College: "I offer you one piece of advice on this most auspicious and joyful occasion: May the Force be with you"

THE LOST CAUSE G. Gordon Liddy (6), at the Virginia Military Institute, to its first graduating class to include women: "[Women] were trained separately, and they did noncombat work. That was vital, and they did it splendidly... When you are rising to higher ranks...put it back right"

IT WILL NEVER LAST Henry Kissinger and Geena Davis (7), at Boston University

MOST GRACEFUL EXIT Mezzo-soprano Frederica von Stade (8), at Sierra Nevada College, who sang Aaron Copeland's Simple Gifts

LEAST GRACEFUL EXIT Anna Quindlen, journalist and author, who canceled her scheduled appearance at Villanova University amid protests from pro-life groups