People

By Michele Orecklin

NOT ONE FOR THE WEDDING ALBUM

A month before her nuptials to Prince Edward, SOPHIE RHYS-JONES received an unsolicited gift from the British tabloid the Sun: an 11-year-old topless photo of herself splashed across the paper's inside pages. The photo shows Rhys-Jones' former boss, a radio deejay, lifting her bikini top. Despite the unorthodox nature of the office high jinks, the two were apparently not romantically involved. Outraged reaction to the photo's publication came from the usual corners, such as Buckingham Palace, and curiously sanctimonious ones, such as rival tab the Mirror. The not entirely chagrined Sun published a full-page apology the next day: "We thought it showed the fun-loving side of a woman who is bringing a breath of fresh air to the Royals." (Wasn't that Fergie's role?) The office colleague who took the photo reportedly got $165,000 for it. That should come in handy, especially since she was fired for the offense.

FEUD OF THE WEEK

NAME: Spike ("He Got Game") Lee AGE: 42 OCCUPATION: Director, Nike pitchman BEST PUNCH: Asked at a press conference about Charlton Heston's involvement with the N.R.A., Lee joked that Heston should be shot "with a .44-cal. bulldog" pistol

NAME: Charlton ("He Got Guns") Heston AGE: 74 OCCUPATION: Actor, N.R.A. pitchman BEST PUNCH: After unamused Representative Dick Armey castigated Lee, a bemused Heston said, "He gave me a big laugh... If he wants to take a shot at me, go let him try it"

WINNER: Heston; in a verbal duel, he showed the most brass

BUNDLES OF FUN

The delicate question of motherhood bedeviled last week's Miss Universe Pageant. First, Miss Guam, Trisha Heflin, was sent home because of her indelicate condition. Though her representative denied it, pageant officials contended Heflin was pregnant, a state outlawed in competition. The issue arose again when the night's three remaining contestants were asked whether Miss Universe should step down if she became pregnant during her reign. After Miss Spain and Miss Philippines, a crowd favorite who all but had the crown bobby-pinned to her head, fumbled, Miss Botswana stepped in. MPULE KWELAGOBE, her country's first-ever entrant, walked away with the title after asserting that pregnancy, like the pageant, was a celebration of femininity. Try telling that to Miss Guam.

CHILDREN ON THE REVOLUTION

Parents, whether you're capitalist or communist, all you can do is raise them; you can't make your ideology stick

SERGEI KHRUSHCHEV

RELATION TO COMMUNIST IDEOLOGUE: Son of Nikita

IN THE NEWS BECAUSE: Announced plans to become an American citizen next month

PRESSING QUESTION: Will the kitchen debate now center on which refrigerator to buy?

KATHERINA MARX

RELATION TO COMMUNIST IDEOLOGUE: Great-granddaughter of Karl

IN THE NEWS BECAUSE: Showed up at Cannes Film Festival in decidedly unproletariat garb

PRESSING QUESTION: Was she an imposter, as some claimed, or perhaps the great-granddaughter of Zeppo?