Noah's O.K., but We Need Babes

By Harriet Barovick, Michelle Derrow, Tam Gray, Daniel Levy, Lina Lofaro, David Spitz, Flora Tartakovsky and Chris Taylor

To capture audiences, networks are turning out lavish historical spectacles. The problem with history is that what really happened doesn't always make good TV. We asked a few experts to appraise the historical integrity of Noah's Ark, which appeared last week on NBC, Joan of Arc (CBS, May 16, 18) and Cleopatra (ABC, May 23, 24).

Expert On Joan of Arc, CARLOS EIRE, Professor of History and Religious Studies, Yale University

Good research Great costumes (even the horses had armor!)

Sloppy research Opening blurb refers to "Dark Ages"--a gauche term--plus the movie actually takes place in the early Renaissance; priest mixes up Latin grammar; Joan's brother did not die during the attack on Paris

Overlooked Joan was later canonized

Best performance "The church officials come off as almost demonic, except Peter O'Toole, who looks great. He is funny, totally dissolute."

Capsule review "Very good, very surprising. My eight-year-old loved it."

[Expert] On Noah's Ark, ALAN COOPER, Professor of Bible at Jewish Theological Seminary and Union Theological Seminary

[Good research] The rain burns sinners, a detail found only in post-biblical rabbinic sources

[Sloppy research] Lot did not live (or die) in Noah's time; Noah did not have a drinking problem until he disembarked; the couples on the ark were not swingers, they were married

[Overlooked] The extra "clean" animals Noah brought, possibly to sacrifice

[Best performance] "Jon Voight looked like he was having fun. I liked his Tevye dancing scene"

[Capsule review] "It might have been entertaining if it were better acted, with better sets, better special effects, and an hour shorter."

[Expert] On Cleopatra, MARC VAN DE MIEROOP, Professor of Ancient Near East History, Columbia University

[Good research] Accurate portrayal of Marc Antony's zest for bacchanal

[Sloppy research] Cleopatra's sister did not die in jail under Caesar's rule; the sphinx did not look brand-new in Cleopatra's time; the columns in Cleopatra's palace looked Minoan (an era 1,100 years earlier)

[Overlooked] Cleopatra had three children with Marc Antony

[Best performance] "Leonor Varela was as unlike Cleopatra as Elizabeth Taylor. But she looked pretty."

[Capsule review] "Very entertaining. A bit long."