People

By Michele Orecklin

HATE REPORTERS, BUT LOVE THE ROLE

Last week, just as MADONNA signed on to play an intrusive tabloid reporter in an upcoming film, ROBIN WRIGHT PENN was starring in Message in a Bottle, a film in which she too plays an intrusive journalist. Have the wives of Sean Penn forgotten how much they hate the press? A summary to date:

Madonna

Plays a reporter who: hunts down a reclusive author, then falls in love with him

Stood by Sean Penn when he: kicked in the car door of a reporter

Has said of the press: "The worst part about being famous is the lack of privacy"

Robin Wright Penn

Plays a reporter who: hunts down a reclusive boatmaker, then falls in love with him

Stood by Sean Penn when he: threw rocks at a reporter

Has said of the press: "I kind of want to get a big fat neon sign saying GET A LIFE"

THE MEDICI OF THE AIRWAVES

An author who wins the National Book Award can claim literary prestige, but an author who wins the Imus American Book Award can claim a big pot of cash, along with an influential endorsement. DON IMUS, radio's most popular curmudgeon, created the awards to counter the "elitist" selections of those other book honors. Of the four winners announced last week, two were selected by Imus and two by listeners, who voted for their favorites online. Imus' top pick was Freedomland by novelist Richard Price, who will take home $100,000. The other three winners (Pillar of Fire by Taylor Branch, King of the World by David Remnick and My Year of Meats by Ruth L. Ozeki) were each awarded $50,000, a pile of loot five times as great as that pocketed by the winner of that other prize. Elitism costs.

ALTO IN THE OUTFIELD

He's a little pudgy, past his athletic prime and wears cowboy boots year round. But, hey, he has a proven track record for putting fans in the seats, and that's something the San Diego Padres could use after losing the World Series and some pivotal players. So when country singer GARTH BROOKS announced that he'll suit up for Padres spring training as a nonroster player, it sort of made sense. Brooks' goals are suitably low. He says he doesn't want "to embarrass Major League Baseball or the Padres." Actually, embarrassment would be a step up for the Padres. They are, after all, the team that asked Roseanne to sing the national anthem.

FEUD OF THE WEEK

NAME: PETER ("I'M NOT A SIMPSON") BART OCCUPATION: Editor, Variety BEST PUNCH: In his new book, The Gross, the Hits, the Flops, claims Beatty lifted the idea for the film Bulworth from works by Somerset Maugham and Jules Verne

NAME: WARREN ("I'M NOT NED") BEATTY OCCUPATION: Actor, former womanizer BEST PUNCH: Calls Bart "nasty" and says his reporting can be "wildly inaccurate...but because he's the editor of Variety, no one ever calls him to task for his sloppy research"

WINNERS Maugham and Verne. When was the last time they got any publicity?