This Slang Is Off The Hizzies

By CALVIN TRILLIN

I decided to accept on faith the authenticity of the hip-hop slang that appeared in the Washington Post last week. I believe that Miami rappers describe something wonderful as "off the hizzies" and that "jainky" means not quite right in Atlanta. I'm untroubled by the fact that one of the Post's sources goes by the name of Yukmouth.

There was a time when I would have been more skeptical. In 1993, shortly after the New York Times published a glossary of grunge slang from Seattle, a journal called the Baffler claimed that a prankster had hoodwinked the Times with the notion that grungesters used "swingin' on the flippity-flop" to mean hanging around, and said "harsh realm" rather than "bummer." I was forced to admit publicly that if I hadn't happened to read the Baffler just before a trip to Seattle, which was sure to include some browsing at the mother church of Eddie Bauer, I might well have replied to a floor walker who asked if I needed any help, "Thanks, but I'm just swingin' on the flippity-flop."

The caution brought on by the flippity-flop episode evaporated, though, as my daughters, my only steady source of language freshening, grew up and left home. No longer did I have any way of knowing that Colorado College students called cadets at the nearby Air Force Academy "zoomies" or that the way to end a conversation you no longer had any interest in was to flip a palm toward the speaker and say, "Talk to the hand." If I'm desperate for the latest ghetto slang these days, I'm reduced to lurking on the subway near clots of beautifully turned-out white boys who are trying to sound like cool dudes as they chat on their way to expensive private schools.

In other words, I'm in no position to question any slang help I can get, and I was grateful to the Post's Esther Iverem for collecting a smattering of terms from rappers in nine cities. In fact, I put her list to use right away when I got a call from my friend Wayne, a retired professor who has a lot of ideas for improving New York City.

"What's crackelating, Wayne?" I said, hitting him with what Dante, a rapper with Menace Clan, says is a common greeting in South Central Los Angeles.

Wayne let that one pass. He said Mayor Giuliani, who has spent a lot of time lately berating New Yorkers for crossing the street incorrectly, might consider requiring every resident to have a walking license. If the resident walked at the wrong time or in the wrong direction, his license could be revoked--sort of grounding for grown-ups. License fees could be used to build a new stadium for George Steinbrenner.

"I think that's off the hizzies," I said to Wayne.

"Well, I didn't think it was such a bad idea," Wayne said, sounding a bit miffed. "Nothing's perfect."

"I didn't mean it's jainky..."

"Sorry to have troubled you," Wayne said.

I realized that there is one drawback to being on the cutting edge of slang: not a lot of other people understand what you're talking about. I tried to apologize to Wayne. "Sorry, Wayne," I said. "That was a harsh realm."