People

By Joel Stein

A WALK, SPOILED

For months, guys on golf talk shows have--in all seriousness--been asking, Yeah, but without walking between holes, where's the athleticism in the sport? That scary question is being posed by golf pro CASEY MARTIN, 25, who suffers from a blood disorder in his right leg so severe that excessive walking might shatter it. So last year, after the Professional Golf Association refused to allow him to use a golf cart, Martin sued under the Americans with Disabilities Act. An injunction allowed Martin to drive a cart in the year's first Nike Tour tournament, in Lakeland, Fla. He won. Some players, including Martin's old college teammate Tiger Woods, protested that a cart gives Martin an unfair advantage. Come on.

FOR LOVE'S SAKE

Two of the world's biggest self-promoters, punk rocker COURTNEY LOVE and Brit documentarian Nick Broomfield, aren't getting along. Broomfield's new movie, Kurt and Courtney, which examines and rejects allegations that Love was complicit in her husband's death, has been cut from the Sundance Film Festival because of a legal threat over music rights. Says Broomfield: "The person I was most frightened of making a film about is Margaret Thatcher. I think Courtney Love is pretty small fry in comparison." On Saturday Broomfield said there were absolutely no plans to screen his film.

Q&A

FAMKE JANSSEN stars in Deep Rising with Treat Williams.

Q: In an ex-Bond-girl catfight, who would win, you or Michelle Yeoh?

A: She. No doubt. Because she's a trained martial artist and I'm not. I'm just a regular old person.

Q: You crushed guys to death with your legs in Goldeneye. Does that make men nervous?

A: Not in my experience, no.

Q: So you grew up in Amsterdam. How old were you when you first smoked pot?

A: Like 14 or 15 or something.

Q: At a hash bar or in a friend's basement?

A: It was with my parents. No, just kidding. It was with friends.

Q: Can you speed-skate like your brother Dan?

A: I don't have a brother. It's just the same name. No relation.

Q: I hear you write poetry.

A: Not true. In class we had to write poetry, and I could make a good writer for Hallmark cards.

Q: Are you going out with someone famous or something?

A: No. I'm the only one in Hollywood who's not. Are you going out with somebody famous?

Q: No. I'm working on it, though.

A: It's very important to go out with someone famous. Because it helps.

Q: Are you at all attracted to me right now?

A: How can I be attracted to this voice on the phone that asks me doofy questions?

FEUD OF THE WEEK

NUTTY THE FRIENDLY DUMP OCCUPATION: Imaginary friend of Jimmy the Idiot Boy BEST PUNCH: John Kricfalusi, creator of The Ren & Stimpy Show, claimed Mr. Hankey, who appeared on Comedy Central's South Park, is similar to his Web-based character

MR. HANKEY THE CHRISTMAS POO OCCUPATION: He gives gifts to kids who eat fiber BEST PUNCH: Responding to Kricfalusi's complaint, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone wrote him a nice letter explaining how Mr. Hankey was independently conceived

THE WINNER Mr. Hankey. After all, don't they all look alike?