PEOPLE

By Belinda Luscombe

LINDA, NAOMI, KATE...ELTON?

In his new autobiographical movie, Tantrums and Tiaras, ELTON JOHN reveals that he never travels without a tiara or two (and trunkloads of loud suits). Now he finally has some fashionable frocks to go with them. While he may not have the traditional ectomorphic build of the supermodels, John certainly has a similarly mesomorphic ego. And as this photo (shot by Richard Avedon for Gianni Versace) reveals, a little makeup--or even a lot--and the right attitude work wonders. "Elton is more than a pal for me: he's my brother by choice," coos Versace, for whose runway shows John often writes songs. "I love his voice, music and talent." Having put him through three fittings, in Paris, London and Milan, Versace gave the flamboyant singer the dresses when the shoot was over. (What else was he going to do with them?) Says Versace: "I'm sure he's going to surprise me by wearing one of them next time we meet."

SEEN & HEARD

In rock music, as in tennis, your swing is the thing. But in music, unlike tennis, John McEnroe's licks were a bit choppy. When he tried to make an album this time last year, no major labels were interested. Now the Johnny Smyth band (after McEnroe's girlfriend Patty Smyth, who doesn't play in it) hopes to release its first album this summer on the tiny independent label 21 West Entertainment. Says the label's owner, Peter Gold: "John's playing, songwriting and singing have all gotten incredibly much better."

PRISON POP

How has America's reluctant guest MANUEL NORIEGA spent his time since 1992 chez Miami's Metropolitan Correctional Center? Boning up on pop culture, it seems. In At Random, the in-house magazine of Random House, which is publishing his memoirs, Manny, as his co-perps call him, says he is familiar with "those all-important staples of American culture, the Wild Horse Saloon and line-dancing on TNN." His bedtime reading: the Bible and Deepak Chopra, as well as People and Men's Health.

A ROMANTIC WEB

For some people TV and the Internet are just wastes of time. For DIANA GABALDON they were the touchstones of a whole new career. Having gained a Ph.D. in ecology and worked for 12 years as a scientist, Gabaldon, inspired by an episode of Dr. Who (the British Star Trek), started writing what she calls "chunks" about time travel, ancient Scotland and sex. "I posted some of it on CompuServe to win an argument," says Gabaldon. "And people said, 'This is wonderful. What is it?' And I said, 'I don't know.' "Eight years later, she's still writing chunks, which have been crafted into four hefty novels. She posts reams of prose online, at a Website a fan set up for her. The meeting of Webheads and her story of a time-traveling British army nurse seems to be happy. Drums of Autumn, the latest in the Outlander series, is a surprise best seller, beating out such literary veterans as Michael Crichton and Jonathan Kellerman in some stores.

THIS MORRIS IS NO CHEVALIER

Philandering former presidential political guru and fink-du-jour DICK MORRIS doesn't have much luck when it comes to the tabloids. One such publication blew the lid off his high-powered job as Clinton's chief political strategist when it published photos of him having strategic sessions with a woman who was clearly not his wife--or another consultant. And now a tabloid has published excerpts from his new book, Behind the Oval Office, thus helping wipe out his chances of having a magazine pay to excerpt it. Morris opens the book with an apology to his wife, President Clinton and Al Gore (in that order) and then proceeds to say how important he was to Clinton's re-election. He also dishes on how the Prez calls his staff "the children who got me elected" and is prone to fierce tantrums. Morris paints himself as the cool, mature mind who advised on everything from suitable vacation spots to the Bosnian peace talks. And he breathlessly describes how he and Clinton toiled alone on the '95 State of the Union address, he at the typewriter, the President above him, "like a sequoia."

THE MIKES MAKE OUT

Short on cash? Here's one way to make tens of millions of dollars without even being good at your job! It's simple. First, be MIKE OVITZ. Next get hired by Disney and do such lame work that the Mouseketeers terminate your contract 14 months later. Then you'll rake in almost $40 million in severance pay and 3 million stock options. If you hang on to those until 2002, there's a good chance they'll be worth about $100 million. Otherwise, be good at your job, like Michael Eisner, and Disney will give you a 10-year contract at $750,000 per annum plus a bonus this year of about $8 million and 8 million stock options. So what's Mike O. going to do now, since he obviously can't go to Disney World? Maybe some sailing. He bought himself a new yacht. Its name: Illusion.

MARCIA AND THE MARSHALLS

Will O.J. Simpson prosecutor MARCIA CLARK become the next William Shatner? Her hair has already been the punch line of almost as many jokes as his. And now, Clark--who just last week officially resigned from the Los Angeles County district attorney's office and has almost, almost finished up Without a Doubt, the book for which she was paid a reported $4.2 million--has been chosen as host of LadyLaw, a new TV show. The "reality-based" program--meaning a show that uses really bad actors--is made by the people who brought us Rescue 911 (hosted by Shatner), and will be offered to TV buyers next week. The premise: to follow the stories of all sorts of women in law enforcement, from prison guards to military personnel to judges. The producers think Clark has just the right kind of take-no-prisoners gumption to anchor it. Not to mention the hair.