By Belinda Luscombe

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING UGH

That third wedding can be tricky to dress for. But IVANA TRUMP is, after all, a woman who designs and sells her own fashions on the Home Shopping Network. So her friends, including Barbara Walters and Diana Ross, knew they were in for something special when she married Italian businessman Riccardo Mazzuchelli. And they weren't disappointed. What's more romantic than blue satin, loud jewelry and the latest thing in veils, the modified fencing mask?

TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, CRITIC

Not the kind of perp to spend his time in the joint pumping iron or tattooing his knuckles, traitor ALDRICH AMES has hit the books instead. Alas, WILLIAM SAFIRE's new novel, Sleeper Spy, was not to the former CIA man's liking; it so irked him that he knocked out a review. The Hill, a congressional weekly, heard that the review was circulating and, given Ames' unique body of knowledge, offered to publish it (for no fee). "Safire uses heavy-duty cardboard for his characters," writes Ames, adding that the plot is "preposterous." But Safire isn't hurt. "It's always an honor to be panned by a traitor," he says.

AN EDITOR'S DREAM

JOEY BUTTAFUOCO, fresh out of a second prison stint after violating his parole, is working on a new kind of sentence. According to the New York Daily News, the Long Island mechanic whose teenage girlfriend shot his wife is trying to parlay his notoriety into a publishing deal for his debut literary effort, Joey Buttafuoco's How to Avoid Car Rip-Offs. "The world is full of scammers," he says, "but that's not how the Buttafuocos do business."

STARS IN THEIR EYES

Notice something oddly familiar about these faces? That's right, these lucky folk have inherited eyeglasses discarded by celebrities. The stars donate their old specs to LensCrafters' Give the Gift of Sight program, which in turn gives the glasses to ED BEGLEY JR., who distributes them in remote parts of Mexico. "It's a recycling program of the highest order," says actor-environmentalist Begley, whose own vision is so bad he feared--wrongly--that no one could use his old lenses. "I had so many pairs," he says, "I was the Imelda Marcos of eyeglasses." The boy pictured with Begley scored a second pair of shades--from Michael Keaton.