The Case for Mutticare

Decent health care costs big bucks. But treating four-legged, furry or feathered invalids doesn't come cheap either. Consider this Christmas fable -- a true story -- about Flash, an eight-year-old golden retriever currently living in Washington.

Two weeks ago, the dog suddenly collapsed and pitched down the stairs. His distraught owners, afraid to move their beloved pet themselves, called an animal ambulance (cost: $25). Minutes later the comatose canine had been placed on a stretcher and rushed off to the emergency room. There a veterinarian ordered up a battery of diagnostic tests and treatments, many of which would have been unobtainable for humans only a few years ago.

Flash's problem seemed to be self-inflicted -- a bleeding stomach wound caused by his habit of chewing up and swallowing every splintery stick he could get his teeth on. But first the vet had to rule out rat poison and cancer with a blood test ($45) and a liver scan ($140). Then there was the emergency work-up ($45), followed by a catheter ($30), urinalysis ($22), a steroid injection and lab work to check organ function ($71); anesthesia ($345); an IV attached to a leg ($110); a biopsy ($45); upper and lower gastrointestinal endoscopy for fiber-optic images of his stomach, small intestine and colon ($75); antibiotics and Tagamet for the ulcer ($25); plus five days of hospitalization ($200).

The final reckoning, which listed 29 items, came to $1,036.40. Plus $30 for a shampoo to wash away that nasty kennel odor. Flash will be sleeping on his favorite rug underneath the Christmas tree this week. Santa may bring him a nice rubber toy to chew on instead of those lethal sticks. And how about a pet health-insurance plan for his impoverished owners?