The Porky Awards

By DAVID ELLIS

What's happening in Washington? Not much, actually. Except for a few committees examining high-profile issues, many legislators are coasting from the recent Easter holiday toward the Memorial Day recess. But the slowdown hasn't kept some of them from two favorite diversions: pork-barreling and politicking. The envelope, please

Pork-Barrel Lifetime Achievement Scroll: ROBERT BYRD This senior Democrat really knows how to deliver the bacon. Chairman of the powerful Senate Appropriations Committee, he lately had two federal agencies moved to his home state of West Virginia.

The Joe McCarthy Demagoguery Citation: NEWT GINGRICH When the Georgian isn't slamming Democrats for opposing the war, he's sniping at fellow G.O.P.ers for straying from the True Blue. Colleagues wonder, Why should we take this from a guy who sat out Vietnam?

Grumpy Gus Cup: HENRY GONZALEZ Fellow members of the House Banking Committee gripe that the septuagenarian Democrat spews a lot of gruff talk but has a poor grasp on the regulatory challenges of a financial-system overhaul.

Silver-Plated Muzzle: JOE BIDEN Judiciary Committee hearings seldom get under way until the Delaware Democrat finishes showboating with witnesses as the TV cameras roll.

Nowhere Man Plaque: WILLIAM NATCHER Capitol Hill wags say that Kentucky's Democratic Congressman is the perfect candidate for an American Express commercial. He's been in office since 1954, but no one's found out about it yet.

Sleazemeister Supreme Trophy: ALFONSE D'AMATO New York's Republican will be investigated by the Senate ethics panel for housing subsidies awarded to contributors and friends. His shameless dealmaking embarrasses colleagues, who may issue a reprimand.

With reporting by Sidney Urquhart