Shopping Hell

By Michael Walsh/Munich

There is something soul-destroying about the German Ladenschlussgesetz -- a trade-union-inspired law that closes all the shops most of the time -- and, right across the land, weekends in Germany are a mind-numbing experience.

-- Len Deighton, Spy Line

You don't have to be a secret agent to buy something in West Germany, but it may help. The federal republic can be a consumer's nightmare, a land of seemingly permanently closed department stores, supermarkets and haberdasheries, where goods lie tantalizingly out of reach behind brightly lit show windows. Call it Shopping Hell.

For this, thank the Ladenschlussgesetz. Basically, shop hours are 8 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Monday through Friday, and 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday. On the first Saturday of every month -- "langer Samstag," or long Saturday -- they may stay open all day, although they don't have to. Sundays, almost everything is closed. In East Germany the hours are more liberal but, of course, there hasn't been much to buy in the past.

Passed in 1956 at the behest of the powerful West German trade unions, the closing law has resisted almost every effort to liberalize it. Last year Bonn managed to push through an optional extension of business hours on most Thursday nights, to 8:30 p.m. For weeks afterward, people went around saying it would cost Helmut Kohl the next national election -- and, who knows, they may be right.

Effectively, the law means that those who have to work must cram their shopping into a few frantic hours in the evenings or on Saturday mornings. Planning a weekend dinner party? Best to have the menu set by Thursday night. That way you can spend the next day going from butcher to baker to candlestick maker, purchasing the ingredients. (Germans still prefer to shop the old- fashioned way, buying a few things at a time at a multitude of stores.) But don't forget the Mittagspause, the lunch break that most mom-and-pop stores dutifully observe.

Remember holidays too. In addition to Christmas, New Year's, Twelfth Night, Ascension, Pentecost, Easter, May Day and All Saints' Day, predominantly Catholic Bavaria, for example, celebrates Maria Himmelfahrt (Assumption), Fronleichnam (Corpus Christi) and, in a bow to ecumenism, the Protestants' Buss-und Bettag (Day of Prayer and Repentance). All this and June 17 (German Unity Day) too.

If by chance you are lucky enough to find a store that is open, other skills come into play. Grocery checkouts involve a race against time: the checker shovels your purchases toward you while you try to stuff them into a bag. Don't forget your market basket either, else you'll have to buy a plastic bag -- or several, since each sack only holds approximately 2.3 items. Meanwhile, the people in line behind you start to grumble and push.

True, there is some recourse. Grocery stores at some major train stations are open evenings and Sundays, and increasingly, gas stations have tacked on convenience stores. Restaurants can do business, although some restaurateurs, charmingly, take Saturday night off. Two other exceptions: pastry shops and florists are allowed to stay open on Sundays. You can always eat cake. Or maybe flowers.