Monday, Jan. 01, 1990

Most of the Decade

Most likely to put the Post Office out of business. Futurists predicted that electronic mail -- computers talking to computers -- would soon replace the stamped envelope. They turned out to be wrong. The true expression of 21st century communications is one fax machine talking to another. Modern high- speed facsimile technology has opened the telephone lines to everything from blueprints to fingerprints, including unsolicited, unwanted faxes -- the 1980s version of junk mail.

Most likely to fail in the middle of a billion-dollar deal. It was the technological breakthrough that made where people make their calls ("I'm calling from the freeway! The chairlift! The beach!") as important as what they had to say. The concept behind the cellular telephone is to divide a geographical region into overlapping "cells," each assigned its own radio frequency. As callers travel from one telephone cell to another, a complex computer system automatically switches their call from one frequency to the next. And with a little luck, the party they're talking to gets switched at the same time.

Most likely to get you run over by a truck. First there was the boom box -- big, bad and blaring. But soon Sony introduced the Walkman, the compact musical device designed to be seen but not heard. Since then, sidewalks and streets have been filled with people wearing small foam-rubber circles on or in their ears and expressions of rapture on their faces. Watch out for that manhole!

Most likely to turn your child into a space cadet. At first, home video games were supposed to be educational, teaching the kids computer literacy and all that. Then came Nintendo, purveyor of the Super Mario Bros., to revitalize the world market for mindless alien blasting. Parents now suspect that there is something disturbingly addictive about these amusements, but at least they keep the kids off the streets.

Most likely to bring Elvis back to life. With revolutionary speed, music lovers are replacing their favorite old scratched-up 45s and 33s with shiny compact discs. The complete works of almost all major artists, from Rachmaninoff to the Rolling Stones, are being released in the new format. At up to $18 a pop, CDs are costly, but the tones they produce are astonishingly crisp and clear. Pressed between CDs and cassette tapes, the venerable vinyl long-playing record is being relegated to memory lane.

Most likely to leave you hanging in suspense. Tonight's the final installment of a 34-episode Masterpiece Theater series, and the boss wants you to entertain clients. But no problem! That's why you -- and millions of other Americans -- bought the videocassette recorder with the one-month, eight- program calendar timer and standby one-touch record. Once you have mastered the owner's manual, a lifetime task for some, you just shove in a tape and press a few dozen buttons. What could go wrong?

Most likely to leave you talking to yourself. Making a quick phone call to ask a simple question? Forget it. Since the advent of voice mail (a.k.a. automated answering systems), there are no simple questions -- just a maze of electronic choices that could have been designed by Kafka. Got a medical emergency? Please push 1. Want something kinky? Press 4. Need to talk to a human? Just stay on the line.

Most likely to produce a one-night standoff. People who were weary of blind dates, office romances and the kind of companions they met in singles bars embraced video dating services as a way to look before they leaped. But dates who look luscious and sound suave on videotape may not be so appealing in the flesh. State-of-the-art electronics still does not remove trial and error from love.

Most likely to turn you into a couch potato. Sure you could jump to your feet, dash across the carpet and risk a sprained wrist twisting dials on the television set. But, hey, why bother? This is the age of the wireless remote control. While exercising only your finger muscles, you can flip through the six dozen channels on your cable box, skip commercials and turn down the volume on grating sports announcers. In fact, you can do just about everything but make the characters on screen step into your living room -- and that may yet come.

Most likely to be more than you bargained for. You say you only want it for word processing? No can do. Buy a personal computer and you are also buying a life-style. Loaded up with the computational power that was once available only to governments and large corporations, people are using desktop machines to do everything from making investments and laying out newsletters to designing paper airplanes and picking the winners of the football bowl games.