American Notes Buffalo

A scenario for the opening scene of Rambo: First Blood Part III. The pure fighting machine, as he is known, is in Buffalo on a special mission. But he gets lost downtown and strides into the City Court Building for directions. Bare- chested, with a sweaty bandanna around his head and what looks like an AK-47 rifle in hand, Rambo strikes terror in all who see him. A police alert goes out. Dozens of officers search the courthouse corridors. One policeman, Gerald Baetzhold, draws his revolver, trips and shoots himself in the foot. Our hero, unaware of the chaos he has caused, has already left the building and delivered a Rambo-gram, a terse but humorous message, to a lawyer across the street.

The real-life drama last week was precipitated by a joke: Rambo was an impersonator named Mark Stancampiano. Mission accomplished, he was heading back to his car when two more officers nabbed him. Stancampiano was later charged with disorderly conduct. Nonetheless, his boss, John Gowen, who has been selling Rambo-grams for six weeks at $64.95 a message, was excited by the publicity. Late last week he was planning to start a new service: the Miss Rambo-gram.