Hope and Fear

They have got through the past 5 1/2 months as best they could, trying to keep their minds off what was happening in the U.S. embassy in Tehran by performing the day's normal routines or taking on extra projects around the house, such as making draperies for the family room. They have waited anxiously for letters--most have received a few--and, half in fear and half in hope, they have tuned in several times a day to news broadcasts. In this atmosphere of suspended animation, the families of the hostages last week welcomed President Carter's action against Iran. "I'm 100% for it," said Pat Lee of Falls Church, Va., wife of Hostage Gary Lee, a general services officer. "I don't think it will make that much difference, but it's the principle." Added Mary Lopez of Globe, Ariz., mother of Marine Sergeant James Lopez: "I'm not too happy, but I have to have faith in my government. What else can I hold on to?"

Indeed, for the past months most families have had no alternative but to stand behind the Carter Administration, or at least maintain a silence about their worries. But the strain of waiting was clearly taking its toll on the families. Their relatives were still alive, yet the threat of death remained. "It's almost like a grieving situation with parts of it unresolved," said Dorothy Limbert, psychotherapist and mother of State Department Officer John Limbert. Last month, 47 of the hostage families endorsed a letter sent to Carter threatening to protest if he allowed the Shah back into the U.S. for medical care. Some families feel that the President's moves against Iran should have begun earlier. Said Virgil Sickmann, whose son Rodney was a Marine guard at the embassy: "I wish the President had taken these actions two months sooner. If he had done it then, I think that by this time Iran would have become a little weakened." Added Mary Needham, whose son Paul, 29, was a military aide at the embassy: "It should have been done a long time ago--a very long time ago."

Many hostage families have formed an organization named FLAG (Family Liaison Action Group). "It's for psychological reasons as much as for anything else," says Louisa Kennedy, FLAG spokeswoman and wife of State Department Officer Moorhead C. Kennedy. Members of the group confer occasionally with White House aides, and were briefed on Monday just before Carter announced the steps he was taking. FLAG plans to help the families deal with the complicated financial and legal problems stemming from the takeover of the embassy, including the possibility of bringing suits to get damages from the frozen Iranian assets in the U.S.

Last week the families eagerly studied the televised film clips of life in the embassy that were released by the militants, and the sight of their relatives produced bittersweet reactions. Many looked healthy enough, but the signs of the ordeal were there. Gary Lee did not speak on camera; his wife Pat said he did not have to. "When he doesn't say anything, I can read him through his eyes. I saw pain, I think." She added: "He had a quiet, reserved, mature look that wasn't there before. It was a different face from the one he had six months ago." She was proud of the poise her husband had shown, but she had paid a price for the glimpse of the changes in him. "Oh boy," she said, "it hurt."

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