Tippling in the ranks of his army is giving Uganda President Idi Amin Dada a headache. "Soldiers who drink their heads off" and "fatten beyond efficiency" should be tossed out of the service, Big Daddy declared at a parade. The 300-lb. field marshal then adjourned to the officers' mess, where he quaffed his favorite pick-me-up -- a cold Coke.

"I believe I'm old enough to go steady," said New York Governor Hugh Carey, 56, "but I have no intention of doing anything like that." The Governor is a widower with twelve children, and his occasional dinner date is Anne Ford Uzielli, 32, younger daughter of Automaker Henry Ford II. Anne has been living quietly in Manhattan with her two children since the break-up of her marriage to a Wall Street stockbroker two years ago. She and Carey were introduced in October by Phyllis Wagner, wife of former New York Mayor Robert Wagner. Says the Governor: "She's interested in government, and I'm teaching her."

Previous winners have included Nixon's press secretary Ron Ziegler, as well as the entire Mars candy company. This year the Public Doublespeak Award of the Illinois-based National Council of Teachers of English went to Yasser Arafat, 46, head of the militant Palestine Liberation Organization. Arafat's prizewinning formulation: "We do not want to destroy any people. It is precisely because we have been advocating coexistence that we have shed so much blood."

"I'm going to be lovable, magnanimous, charming, witty and irresistible -- not the aesthetic creep we all know and can't stand." So says Actor Nicol Williamson, talking about Sherlock Holmes, whom he plays in the forthcoming movie version of The Seven-Per-Cent Solution. In the film, based on Nicholas Meyer's novel, the tweedy sleuth travels to Vienna and collaborates with -- who else? -- Sigmund Freud, portrayed by Alan Arkin. It's almost too good to be true, says Arkin. "I didn't know that after seven years in analysis, you get to play Freud."

She has dated the nephew of a millionaire nobleman, gone dancing with a grandson of Sir Winston Churchill, and partied with pop celebrities like Andy Warhol. After some nervous transatlantic phone calls from Mother, Caroline Kennedy, an art student at Sotheby's, may be adopting a lower profile. For her 18th birthday last week, young Caroline canceled plans for a big London bash and joined a few friends at a Berkeley Square club. The birthday feast: a hamburger and a glass of wine.

Just back from their second honeymoon in Africa, Liz Taylor and Richard Burton decided to look in on a couple of the kids. Their destination: the twelve-acre farm in Wales belonging to Michael Wilding Jr., 23, Liz's son from her second marriage. Michael and his girl friend whipped up a vegetarian banquet for the prodigal pair, complete with a local soup in honor of Welshman Burton. Mother Liz pronounced the meal "one of the best," which was also her judgment of a rock group, Solar Ben, in which the versatile Michael plays trumpet, flute and guitar.

"Stick to tennis," advised Steve Ford, 19, after he watched Happy Hustler Bobby Riggs, 58, try some bulldogging at the San Diego Country Estates. The President's son was there to take bronc-riding lessons. Riggs, meanwhile, had put on some cowboy gear, then tried (unsuccessfully) to wrestle a recalcitrant steer to the ground. Undaunted, Riggs promised a better showing in his next venture -- a foot race across California's Death Valley against Australian Distance Runner Bill Emmerton.

West German Chancellor Helmut Schmidt may be in the market for a new gagwriter. During a tour of an army camp, Schmidt reportedly cracked a creaky old World War II joke about Italian tanks having five gears, one forward and four reverse. When Die Welt printed the Chancellor's jape, the Italian government was not amused. Schmidt's aides promptly reached for their own reverse gears. Accepting German denials that Schmidt had ever made the remark, the Italian embassy in Bonn declared the case closed. "After all," an official observed diplomatically, "Germany and Italy are NATO allies and members of the European community."

She smoked cigarettes for a while and even tried a pipe, disclosed Actress Rosemary Harris, but "I had never smoked cigars before." That is, not until she was cast as 19th century Novelist George Sand in the new public-television series Notorious Woman. Sand (nee Aurore Dupin) not only indulged a taste for tobacco, but for men as well, including Composer Frederic Chopin, Poet Alfred de Mussel and Novelist Prosper Merimee. "I don't have the incredible energy she had," said Harris, 48, suggesting that "a thyroid condition" might have accounted for Sand's extraordinary vigor. "Her eyes were rather poppy. She lived to the hilt."

"Sometimes I feel like dumping it all," Soviet Gymnast Olga Korbut grumbled to a Russian reporter in her home town of Grodno. "I am getting sick and tired of gymnastics. I don't have enough strength." All that exercise has become more difficult: "I am 20, not 12." ECsides, she added, who cares about more medals? "I don't need them. I need the love of the public." And what would she like to do next? "I won't make a ballerina; I am too small. I dream of being an actress."

It is all "very hard, hard work, nothing so glamorous as one would think," laments Bianco Jagger after a week's work in Rome on her first movie. Tentatively titled Trick or Treat, the film is a story about a romantic quadrangle (three women, one man), and Bianca plays a young sophisticate who happens to fall in love with an older woman -- and married, at that. Despite the androgynous appeal of Husband Mick Jagger, rock star of the Rolling Stones, Bianca confesses to strictly traditional romantic tastes. "It's a very difficult role for me to portray; I have never fallen in love with a woman."

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