He is, by the record book, the greatest quarterback in pro football history. But last week Johnny Unites, 41, turned in his shoulder pads. "I'm taking up time on the field that could be used for younger fellows," he said, resigning from the San Diego Chargers--who last year signed him to a two-year, $500,000 contract--and retiring from pro ball. Troubled by arthritis, Johnny spent much of the season on the bench. He looks back on his 18-year career with satisfaction.

No one else has gained 40,239 yds. passing or made 290 touchdowns through the air. Three times Unitas was voted most valuable player in the N.F.L., and he led the Baltimore Colts to four N.F.L. titles. Now Unitas will concentrate on business ventures. But it won't be the same. "I'd like to play another 30 years," said Johnny U.

It was Kiss-a-Cop Week in Manhattan. New York City policemen know they are the finest, but it was nice to have it confirmed with a kiss from the British star of My Fat Friend Lynn Redgrave. "I used to be scared working in New York," she cooed to the patrolmen, "but this time I notice a huge difference." Two years ago, 60 actors, including Hal Holbrook, Julie Harris and Joan Hackett petitioned the city for better protection of the grubby Great White Way. It was claimed that actors could not step outside the greenroom without getting goosed or mugged. Today, says A Little Night Music's Hermione Gingold, "There are far less evil-looking people around." Two days later, an uptown precinct tried to persuade the visiting Moiseyev troupe of folk dancers that Central Park was safe. Not a bicycle thief was in sight when Patrolman Murray Trelford and eight of his colleagues challenged the 30 Russians to a Frisbee game on the Great Lawn. Then they all linked arms in a Russian folk dance. While a balalaika was strummed, Igor Moiseyev said, "Now we know the police are men with human qualities."

"If you take care of your insides, the outside will take care of itself," is one of Gloria Swanson's favorite maxims. Looking fit, Gloria, 75, was in Manhattan after a brief but glamorous appearance in the film Airport 1975 and was delighted to provide the details of the regimen that keeps her in shape. Sprouted grains for one thing. "They have plenty of chlorophyll that cleanses the blood and makes the body smell pure. There is no odor to my sweat." After breakfasting on dried and crumbled whole-grain bread kneaded with carrot juice and topped with rice polish, lecithin, yogurt and a tiny ripe banana, Gloria sometimes skips around the house. "I'm a regular hausfrau, but I still need more exercise." Gloria plans to buy a treadmill. To display what her way of life has done for her in 50 years, Gloria obligingly posed for a photographer in exactly the same way she did in 1925 for a classic Steichen portrait and offered a final, somewhat enigmatic beauty tip: "My life," she beamed, "is always a great surprise."

What High School Senior Randi Lamkin, 17, did on her summer vacation comes down to a single big day. One morning last week, Randi and her friend Carol Jenks were floating off West Yarmouth, Mass., on a rubber raft. Pretty soon a wind came up and the girls went bobbing out to sea. Randi's father David, her brother Chuck and Chuck's friend Stan Sacks went out to rescue them in a motorboat, but the waves were so choppy that the boat was swamped. Then Senator Ted Kennedy's big sailboat hove into view. Said a still-incredulous Randi: "I kept saying to myself, yeah, sure, you're getting rescued by Ted Kennedy." A small motorboat arrived on the scene and ferried the five hapless boaters to Kennedy's sloop Curragh, where Ted, Sister-in-Law Ethel Kennedy and several of his nephews and nieces greeted them with hot soup and warm clothes. Said an impressed David Lamkin, "Well, Mr. Kennedy, how often do you rescue people from the ocean?" Replied Ted, "Not very often." Later in the day Randi and Carol went to the Kennedy compound to return the clothes, but Ted and Ethel had flown off to an Andy Williams concert. "I'll remember this for the rest of my life. He's a good-looking man," said Randi.

"If you hadn't known who she was, you would have thought she was just some ordinary jerk," said one of Caroline Kennedy's fellow summer interns in Senator Ted Kennedy's Senate office. "She cracks good jokes," continued Caroline's new acquaintance, "and she's so unspoiled, you can't believe it." Popular with the other 15 teen-age interns, Caroline, 16, is working for only three weeks, and she is not being paid the customary $50 a week for her stint on the Hill. Apart from clerical jobs in the office, she spends her time attending committee meetings. Last week she was spotted leaving the Judiciary Committee debate on impeachment. Caroline had no comment, however, on the irony of John F. Kennedy's daughter following impeachment proceedings against Richard M. Nixon, whom her father narrowly defeated for the presidency in 1960. All she had to say was, "I've got to get back to the office."

At long last NBC has ended its great host hunt to replace the late Frank McGee on Today (TIME, July 15). After Front Runners Tom Brokaw and Garrick Utley had made it clear that they would not be caught feeding dog food to a dalmatian before breakfast, the network found a more easygoing newsman.

Jim Hartz, 34, anchor man of the local news show in New York, has agreed to shill. "I shall do commercials resignedly," he said, and for a six-figure salary.

Jim's ten-year NBC career frequently crossed McGee's, but their roles on Today will be different. McGee insisted on being the sole host. "Frank had trouble working with a woman at first," explained Barbara Walters. Jim has no reservations about being Barbara's cohost, nor has he any plans yet for suggesting format changes. "I seldom get to see the show," he said somewhat sheepishly, "because I'm a late sleeper."

Babe Ruth's record-buster Hank Aaron stepped up to the plate at the All-Star game in Pittsburgh last week looking like thunder. The Atlanta Braves had fired Manager Ed Mathews, then announced that Hank would not get the job. "They should have asked me," said Hank. Then he underlined the fact that baseball has yet to have a black manager. "I'd probably say yes. Maybe that's what they are afraid of." The team also ruled out his brother Tommie, 34, manager of Atlanta's AA team in Savannah, now in a tight minor league pennant race. Braves General Manager Eddie Robinson said, "It would be unfair to take Tommie out of Savannah at this tune." Hank again cried foul: Were the Braves more worried about the minors' pennant race than Atlanta's managerial situation? And as for Tommie, "I'm sure he doesn't want to stay in the minor leagues for the rest of his life and rot away," said Hank.

"How many glasses of milk do you drink per day?" asked a giggling teeny-bopper of the star. "Seven," ad-libbed Swimming Champ Mark Spitz, 24. Then he drank a small carton of milk--the way that Dean Martin used to toss off something harder --and launched into his stage debut at the Magic Mountain amusement park in Valencia, Calif. Backed by a fresh-faced chorus called the Mark Curb Congregation, Mark soft-shoe-shuffled and crooned through a couple of olden goldies, The Sidewalks of New York and A Bicycle Built for Two. Then he introduced his guests, National Hula Hoop Champion Lori Lynn Raye, 15, and Sugar-Rocker Craig Johnson, 15. Modest Mark admitted some identification problems in his new career. "I'm not Tom Jones and I'm not a cow," he allowed. Perhaps thinking nostalgically of the days when all it took to gain a cheer was winning another gold medal, he added, "This is a lot harder work than swimming."

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