Good News, Bad News

Whenever a joke fad becomes entrenched, the small Los Angeles publishing house of Price/Stern/Sloan issues a slender paperback containing a sampling of the humor. Thus, in 1953, the firm published Droodles, a collection of simple line drawings with funny captions; in 1963 it put together The Elephant Book, offering the then-popular elephant jokes. Now, at least by Price/ Stern/Sloan standards, another kind of joke has made the grade. The company has just published The Good News, Bad News Book.

Good News, Bad News jokes* run the entire gamut of human experience and are often topical. In one current gag, for example, President Richard Nixon suddenly appears on all the television networks: "I have some good news for you tonight--and some bad news," he tells his audience. "The good news is that this week our planes have stopped bombing Hanoi. The bad news is that at this very moment they are on their way to Peking."

A swimming coach telephones the parents of one of his team members: "I have some good news for you. Your son George just broke the Intercollegiate triple somersault high-diving record. I also have to tell you that I have some bad news. There was no water in the pool."

The jokes also occur in historical settings. Below decks in a Roman galley, for instance, the slave master addresses the slaves chained to their oars: "Slaves, the good news is that at the next port there will be food and grog for everyone. The bad news is that this afternoon the captain wants to go water skiing."

"* The gags probably originated a few years ago as spoofs of the in-flight announcements made by airline pilots. For example: "This is your captain speaking. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that we're ahead of schedule. The bad news is that our navigational equipment has failed and we have no idea where we are."

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