When Average Means Awful

Scratch a wine expert, find a frustrated poet. Wines are seldom good or bad; they are "serious" or "sprightly," "frivolous" or "untrustworthy." When New York Wine Importer Frank Schoonmaker talks about "sunny, lovable little fellows, never a bit sullen or ill-tempered or withdrawn," he is not boasting about his children or a litter of puppies; he is describing the wines of the Rhine and Moselle river valleys.

This predilection for hyperbole can only confuse the casual wine drinker. As a beginning of wisdom, he must understand that oenologists are scarcely detached observers -- nearly all are in the wine business. Thus, when he hears the experts describe 1968 as an "average" vintage year for French and German wines, he should recognize that average actually means awful.

The fact is that 1968 was an awful year in most of Europe. Too much rain and too little sunshine conspired to produce mediocre wines from the vineyards of Burgundy and the Rhine, Rhone and Moselle valleys. Bordeaux was not quite as badly hit, but its vine yards produced only one-third of the normal amount of quality wine. On simplified vintage charts, 1968 will be rated no better than 4 out of a possible 10.

Short but Sad. The meager quantity and poor quality of the 1968 crop are al ready being reflected in skyrocketing U.S. prices for older vintages. A bottle of 1966 Bonnes Mares Comte de Vogue (described as "noble," "powerful" and "long-lived") today costs twice as much as it did a year ago. Prices for 1966 quality wines have gone up 30% or 40% since last spring. A case of 1967 Chateau Lafite Rothschild, a famous Bordeaux, last December was priced at $76 (f.o.b. France). A case of the same wine is now selling for more than $100.

Despite excessive prices for such well-known labels, it is still possible to find a decent table wine at a decent price:about $3.50 a bottle. Still, bargain hunt ers must beware. The increasing short age of good imported wine stocks in the U.S. has encouraged some promoters to foist off cheap and often undrinkable French wines on unsuspecting American customers. One British wine merchant is shipping to the U.S. a vinegary rose named Bourgogne-Chainette, which he touts as "light, dry,refreshing" and "a great rarity." Only the last phrase is accurate. With a magnifying glass and a knowledge of French, the customer will discover that Bourgogne-Chainette is a vineyard on the grounds of the Psychiatric Hospital of L'Yonne.

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