Barbers of the World Unite!

Though Marx and Lenin both wore beards--as do current Comrades Ho Chi Minh, Fidel Castro and Walter Ulbricht--beards have long been in disfavor throughout much of the Communist world. The wholly unkempt look is considered antisocial and a sign of Western decadence. Alarmed by the growing number of beards appearing on students and intellectuals, Rumania has now earned the distinction of being the first Communist state to take official action against the menace. With the invincible Communist lack of humor that no amount of economic liberalization can cure, the Rumanian government has decreed that beards may henceforth be grown only by special permission.

The man who wants such permission must appear at a police station, give what the government considers an acceptable reason for wearing one--an acting job, a scar on the chin. If the police approve, he must then carry around, like a driver's license, a special permit stating specifically his reason for having a beard. Others had better stay clean-shaven.

In their drive to purify Rumania's youth of Western influence, the Communists have also decided that bare legs are as bad as shaggy chins. Though red-blooded Rumanians like to think of Bucharest as "the Paris of the Balkans," the authorities have also banned miniskirts. When nubile girls came upon some Western fashion magazines and began drawing up their skirts over the knee, the regime began dressing down the culprits. The styles quickly changed, but the Rumanian girls, most of whom are their own seamstresses, did not completely toe the party hemline. The latest style is the knee-length skirt that has a few inches of lace or fur sewn onto the hem--detachable for when the police are looking the other way.

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