. . . And All That

Harold, 14th October, 1066-1966. The MOST disastrous Name in British History. ANGLO-SAXONS AWAKE!

--Notice in the personal column of the London Times It was exactly 900 years ago last week that Harold, last of the Saxon kings, became the most disastrous name in British history. On Oct. 14, 1066, in a green field seven miles northwest of the coastal town of Hastings, his 6,000-man army was cut down by the Norman invaders of William the Conqueror. Harold was slaughtered, and the language, civilization and blood of Englishmen were changed forever. Englishmen have been celebrating the anniversary all year--in the traditional manner of today's Britain.

"Battle of Hastings 1066--Bottle of Guinness 1966," frothed a thousand billboards. "Whoosh! It's another big breakaway conquest," proclaimed the makers of Bri Nylon clothing in ads picturing mounted Bri Nyloned models setting forth against the Saxons; another version of the battle showed the Norman warriors armed with Desoutter Power Tools. Heinz offered its soup buyers a chance to enter an archery contest in which the first 1,066 winners would be rewarded with Kenwood Chef food mixers and Arrow shirts. And, in ads boosting its Neo-Medrone Acne Lotion, the Upjohn pharmaceutical company captioned a drawing of William on horseback as follows: "Who conquered William the Conqueror? No one. But he still worried a lot. About his acne. It was unconquerable too."

Town Cries. The admen did not have the occasion entirely to themselves. Every English town that could claim the remotest connection with either Harold or William beckoned tourists with such quaint attractions as Conquest puppet shows, town-crier contests and dancing on English Channel piers.

Leading the pack, of course, was Hastings--which, as its local newspaper proudly pointed out, "is better known internationally than almost any other town." To give the anniversary its deserved importance (and attract 250,000 extra tourists to boot), the Hastings Town Council spent $16,800 building a triple-domed exhibition hall called the Triodome. Principal exhibit of the Triodome was supposed to be the great Bayeux Tapestry, ordered up by the conquering Normans shortly after the battle. But the tapestry is the property of the town of Bayeux in Normandy, which refused to give it up, and so Hastings had to produce its own. It came through beautifully. Now hanging in the Triodome is a tapestry 243 feet long, which portrays the past nine centuries of English history in 81 scenes covering 27 panels. "It is twelve feet longer than the Bayeux Tapestry," boasts a leading local booster, "and in much brighter colors."

Motivated Jousters. The memorial services came to their panting climax last week when 500 costumed university students, assisted by "cavalrymen" recruits from local riding schools, appeared before thousands of tourists on the hallowed field near Hastings to re-fight the battle, in abbreviated form.

Although the anniversary fell on Friday, the replay was held on Saturday, so that more tourists could attend (admission: 35-c-).

After the battle, spectators were invited to remain in their seats for what the program called "an authentic medieval jousting tournament." There were twelve contestants in the tournament. Clad in authentic armor and wielding long wooden lances, they put on the sort of impressive performance achieved only by highly motivated young men.

The winner's prize was a date with Miss World of 1966. And all that.

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