Wait Till Next Year

The best way to describe how the baseball season opened is to coin a phrase about the way the ball bounces. There were some pretty crazy hops:

> In Bloomington, Minn., the New York Yankees got the season off to a ripsnorting start by committing five errors in one game against the Minnesota Twins. The Twins committed only three, so naturally they won, 5-4. "Worst game I ever saw," snapped Yankee Manager Johnny Keane.

> In Los Angeles, where it seldom rains, the Angels had to postpone their home opener and hand out rain checks. They couldn't exactly blame Mexico's former President Miguel Aleman, who gave the city a statue of the Aztec rain god, Tlaloc, on March 27. But it did rain for 13 straight days, right through the opening.

> In Kansas City, Athletics Owner Charles O. ("Call Me Charlie") Finley invoked his own brand of voodoo be fore his club took on the Detroit Tigers. Finley 1) rode around the bases on the back of a mule called Charlie O, 2) took possession of five monkeys, a doe, rabbits, pheasants and peafowl donated by admiring fans, and 3) produced a beauty queen to act as bat girl. The Athletics lost anyway, 6-2.

> In St. Louis, Cardinal Manager Red Schoendienst was beginning to wonder whatever had become of the world-champion team that he distinctly remembered inheriting from Johnny Keane. In four games, the best the Cards could manage was a tie with the Chicago Cubs. Groaned Schoendienst: "I've got a headache."

But, as the French, who don't play baseball, observe, the more things change, the more they stay the same. In New York, 37,999 fans turned out at Shea Stadium to watch the New York Mets take on the Los Angeles Dodgers and Pitcher Don Drysdale, whose lifetime record against the Mets was 13-1. By the end of the first inning, the Dodgers were ahead 2-0, and the grandstand blossomed with derogatory signs. PHOOEY! said one. Said another:

WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR.

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