"I Dare Not Leave"

I am a hundred times more committed now than when I started. I have a greater knowledge of God and the Scriptures. I want to go out and grab people and say, "Look here, I've got the answer!" I believe God is speaking to the people through me.

--Billy Graham (in Chicago) At the age of 43, Baptist Preacher Billy Graham has been conducting crusades for Christ for 13 years. According to his statistics-minded aides, he has completed 115 crusades, preached to more than 27 million people, accounted for 875,000 "decisions for Christ." Last week Billy was busy conducting his first crusade in Chicago--and something of the old platform magic was still at work. After seven days, Billy had spoken to 220,000 people, recorded 5,521 decisions, and, as usual, he found himself overwhelmed by the response. "There is a depth to the meetings I have not felt before," he said.

The enthusiasm may have been the same, but it was not the same old Billy, for the years of crusading have taken their toll. At 185 Ibs., he is 25 Ibs. heavier than when he first began his preaching tours, and 5 Ibs. over what he says is his best preaching weight. He has cut out desserts, limited his butter intake, exercises twice a day in his hotel room with dumbbells. "I don't seem to have the reserve strength that I used to have," he says. Weary of constant traveling, he would like to spend more time with his family--nowadays he seldom sees them more than one week out of every three--and he looks forward to the time when he might retire to a college to study and pray.

Graham sermons are still geared closely to the Bible, but they reflect Billy's growing interest in contemporary trends of thought. He has read widely in modern theologians, has taken enough interest in psychology to quote Carl Jung in the same breath with St. Paul. "We're dealing with millions of people suffering from nervous and mental illness," he says. "I've done much reading in psychology, although I believe that the therapy Christ offered is the only adequate therapy."

To longtime friends, Graham seems as dedicated as ever, but he worries about the danger of becoming insincere in his preaching. Says he: "If I thought this were becoming just a routine and I were performing mechanically and without feeling, I'd quit." But there is so far no sign of that. His crusade schedule is filled up for the next 18 months, with tentative plans listed for 1965. "God has called me to this crusading," says Billy. "I dare not leave until He's finished with me."

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