The Big Picture. In Whitleigh, England, after neighbors protested, Mr. and Mrs. Bill Williams withdrew their offer to give away their fourth child in order to have money for a TV set.

Good Turn. In Salt Lake City, after losing the city key to be presented to visiting Veterans Administration Dignitary Bradford Morse, local VA officials borrowed the county-jail key, had to replace it when Morse went proudly off with it.

Open-and-Shut Case. In Munich, West Germany, just before he was arrested, Franz Osterholzer, boss of a gang of car thieves that stole $190,000 worth of vehicles in the last four years, filed application for a patent for a "100% safe" device for preventing cars from being stolen.

Easy Assent. In Stanford, Calif., when Stanford University officials apologized for an error that assigned him to a women's dormitory, Freshman Frank Hamill replied: "I am willing to live wherever the university wishes me to."

Taking the Fifth. In Vancouver, B.C., Ernest Corey was fined $125 for driving "while impaired by liquor" after he told the police court: "I always drink when I drive in Vancouver, because the traffic scares me."

Misfire. In Denver, after wresting the pistol away from a man trying to hold him up, George Sawaya was told by his would-be assailant: "Let's just forget this --I'll run."

Scent of Freedom. In St. Petersburg, Fla., police finally caught up with Escaped Convicts Elmer Duke and Daniel McKenzie, who had taken the prison bloodhound with them when they fled.

Steam Table. In Appleton, Wis., James Van Boxtel was fined $15 for speeding, even though he explained that he had just bought two hot pizza pies and was hurrying to get them home before they cooled.

La Vie en Rose. In Bridgeport, Mich., John Fisher was arrested after setting a bag labeled "Flower Fund" on a tavern bar, allegedly using the proceeds for his own drinks.

Line Is Busy. In Fresno, Calif., the Pacific Telephone Co. filed suit to collect $1,642.73 from the mother of twelve-year-old Helen Jackson, who made 462 calls to her boy friend in less than two months.

Breaking the Leash. In Denver, after several people complained that a city firm answered every telephone complaint with, "Mr. Chiwawa, our complaint manager, is tied up in back right now and cannot come to the phone," the Better Business Bureau investigated, found a Chihuahua pup tied up in the firm's back room.

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