True Love. In Brisbane, Australia, organizers of the Royal National Show, the annual state fair, received a letter from an exhibitor: "Please send me a fresh check for the prize money won by my goat. When I was showing the last check to the goat, it ate it."

Restyled. In Pittsburgh, Carpenter Paul Eisel got so mad at his wife for serving pork chops that he smashed the dining-room table and several other pieces of furniture, remarked before he was fined $10 that it was "hand-me-down stuff, anyway. I was planning to have it replaced."

Legal Tender. In Lima, Ohio, Duane Fett and a pal were fined $5 each for creating a disturbance when a gas-station attendant refused to sell them i/ worth of gasoline, explained they were settling a bet on whether a man could buy that much.

In Dye Season. In Madiun, Java, Ra-den Sukotjo, who quit teaching school six years ago, got official notice from Indonesia's Ministry of Education that he had won a salary increase.

Pinch Hitter. In Fredericksburg, Va. Bakery Operator Edwin Young, annoyed at the damage done to rolls and loaves by customers testing their freshness, posted a sign: "The merchandise on this table is always fresh. If you must squeeze something, please call the manager."

Reasonable Search. In Salem, Mass., Probate Judge John V. Phelan, denying a man's request for divorce, ruled that his wife's preventing him from entering her apartment to look for a suspected lover was not cruel and abusive treatment.

Busy Little Fingers. In Cedar Rapids, Iowa, a 13-year-old who enjoyed leafing through the encyclopedia, was turned over to juvenile probation authorities after the discovery that he had assembled two-by-fours, a box and a sharpened steel plate to make a small but serviceable guillotine.

Investigation. In New Philadelphia, Ohio, Police Chief Louis J. Clark, visiting a gas station that had just been robbed, dropped a piece of paper, bent down, spotted the thief under the desk.

For Laden Craft. In Newport, R.I., the City Council is considering an ordinance requiring the town's 92 barkeepers to have their doors open outward (64 now swing in), on the theory it should be easier for a man to leave than enter.

The Word. In Derby, Conn., Peter Ciesielski, arrested after a onehour, zigzag chase by two patrol cars, said: "The Lord told me not to stop. He just told me to keep going and everything would be all right."

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