Spring Inventory. In El Reno, Okla., the Federal Reformatory put up for sale 1,500 Ibs. of "scrap and salvage, consisting of hacksaw blades, files and broken tools."

The Stilly Night. Near Kevil, Ky., lightning split and hurled the headboard of their bed across the room, scorched the mattress and bed linen, awakened but did not injure Harvey Tucker and his wife.

Her Master's Voice. In Paris, Prince Alexandra Douala-Manga-Bell, Deputy from the Cameroons, apologized to the National Assembly for the uneven reading of his speech, explained that his secretary, whose handwriting is poor, had written it.

The Better 'Ole. In Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Gordon Davis, jailed on a drunkenness charge, was released on $50 bond posted by his wife, who began giving him such a tongue-lashing that three minutes after leaving he slunk back in, begged, ''Give her back her money, I'd rather stay in jail," was locked up for the night.

Example. In Des Moines, Floyd Kinney canceled a farm-safety lecture to the 4-H Club after he cleaned a tractor with gasoline, washed his hands, lit a cigarette, was taken to the hospital with burns.

Darkest After Dawn. In Leeds, England, Mrs. Harry Tillotson got a divorce after testifying that her husband had once rubbed margarine in her hair, hurled a fried egg at her, generally made breakfast time unbearable by slamming doors, banging pots and pans, playing the radio at top volume, whistling through his teeth.

Trial & Error. In Janesville, Wis., Mrs. Tamma Rowley, 78, got a divorce after telling the court that she simply "could not stand" Robert Rowley, 79, to whom she had been married for 56 years.

Home Service. In Akron, the Temple of Wisdom reported the theft of a poor box, $300 in cash, and a $250 mahogany pulpit.'

Best Foot. In Kansas City, Kans., Tommy Hess, 3, warned of pain by the doctor preparing to put a plaster cast on his broken foot, gingerly extended his leg, never whimpered during the 40-minute operation, only explained when the impressed doctor praised him, "It's the other foot that hurts."

Voice of Experience. In Worksop, England, George Haslam, 67, announcing his engagement to Florence Beety, 23, conceded that gossips had worried him by what they might say, but that his father, 90, "could see I was in love, and told me to pop the question."

Line of Duty. In Mt. Vernon, Ohio, State Liquor Inspector Dow Bronson Ayers was jailed for three days and fined $200 for drunken driving.

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