Swivel Liberties. In Santa Fe, N.Mex., the state senate passed a bill making it unlawful to make false statements to a peace officer, despite Senator Earl Parker's objection that the bill "strikes to the very foundation of human rights. I say you should have the right to lie to whomever you please."

His Master's Vice. In Indianapolis, Mallory Hinson was jailed for drunk driving after he refused to take a drunkometer test, confidentially advised cops to test his dog instead, explained that the dog, not he, had been piloting the car.

Pity Limit. Near Zwingle, Iowa, after his truck started to burn, Norman Fulmer hitched a ride to the firehouse and asked for help, was told that firemen could not work beyond the town's boundaries, hitched back to the truck, got back in, drove the fire to fire headquarters for treatment.

Price War. In Baltimore, calculating that he had 7-c- worth of beer left when the barkeep announced closing time, Patrick Duran noisily demanded a refund, refused on principle to accept an offer of 10-c- in reparations from a policeman who showed up to make peace, responded to another law officer's comment ("For five cents I'll lock you up") by plunking down a nickel, was hauled off to the station.

If It's Worth Doing ... In Cleveland, eleven months after he was put on probation for stealing from the mails, Clayborne J. Allmond drew a four-year sentence as a probation violator after cops charged that since then he had committed bigamy, forgery and assorted theft, had topped it off by going to San Francisco, getting himself appointed a probation officer.

The Rich Get Richer. In Jerusalem, dejected after his wife presented him with twin girls. Raymond Zetoun, already a jobless father of three, grumpily decided to name them "No Alternative" and "What Can I Do?", finally was persuaded to substitute "Good Morning" and "Good Night."

Cargo Manifest. In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., cops rousted 6 ft. 6 in., 235 lb. Dempse McCormick out of an ice cream parlor where they found him sleeping, booked him for vagrancy after they emptied his pockets, discovered two billfolds, 30 cigarette lighters, a tobacco pouch, two flashlights, three toothbrushes, a tube of toothpaste, four bottles and two cans of lighter fluid, four spools of thread, one bottle of garlic salt, two tie clasps, three corks, nine pocket knives, two screwdrivers, a pair of pliers, two spools of fishing line, 15 assorted fishhooks, twelve defunct .38 cal. bullets, a set of dice and some bobby pins.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.