The Bug Story. In Napanee, Ont., the weekly Beaver advised readers: "You may notice some typographical errors in this paper. They were put in intentionally. This paper tries to print something for everyone and some people are always looking for mistakes.''

Father, Dear Father. In West New York, N.J., after Jennie Kelly testified that her husband popped her in the head with a dart, Charles Kelly told the judge: "I want my wife to stop peeking over ginmill doors looking for me."

The Whim of Iron. In Waco, Tex., after she overturned her car, Mrs. Mimmie Moore Richardson was jailed for drunkenness despite her pronouncement to arresting officers: "This is my automobile, and it is my prerogative to turn it over where and when I please."

Steal Home. In Los Angeles, after he barged a bakery truck over the curb and onto the sidewalk in front of the Wilshire police station, Delos R. Williams admitted to cops that he had stolen the truck, quiveringly told why: "There were 25 men chasing me and I wanted to get as close to the police station as I could."

The Old Cramped Ground. In Manhattan, after he arrived by ship from Rotterdam, Motorbike Tourist Hugo De Wys scouted the area, regretfully told well-wishers he would have to leave immediately because there was no place to pitch his tent.

And Double Check. In Roanoke, Va., after banks bounced five checks because they couldn't read the signatures, cops tracked down Kenny Calhoun, got him to admit that he persuaded store clerks to fill out checks for him, signed them with a meaningless scrawl, did his forging in this way because he couldn't read or write.

View Halloo! In Portland, Ind., a jury deliberated for 2 1/2 hours, then acquitted Kenneth P. Stolz of drunken driving after he testified that he had steered his car down the left side of the road before his arrest because he was looking for fox tracks.

Feel Sharp, Drive Sharp. In Paramus, N.J., despite his plea that there wasn't any law against it. Theodore Hildebrandt Jr. was ticketed for careless driving after cops caught him driving with the wheel in one hand, a razor in the other, and blobs of lather on his face.

But, Soft! What Truck ... In Madison, Wis., arrested for leaving the scene of an accident after his truck tore off a 3 1/2-ton marquee and smashed an eight-foot window at the Cardinal Hotel, Henry D. Eskridge alibied: "Honest to gosh, I didn't know I hit anything!"

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