The Fixers. In Huntsville, Ala., after appearing at the jail while a friend arrested for highway intoxication was bailed out, County Commissioner James H. Turner was locked up on the same charge, managed to bail himself out a few hours later, just before the friend reappeared to free him and was jailed a second time for highway intoxication.

Stopgap. In Newcastle-on-Tyne, England, Mrs. Edna Reed got a divorce after testifying that her husband concluded a family argument by plugging her mouth with a raw herring.

If the News Fits ... In Chillicothe, Mo., while publicizing an auto safety inspection campaign, the daily Constitution-Tribune sent its office station wagon through the check line, got back a report: no emergency brake, faulty muffler, dim signal lights, missing taillight. badly adjusted foot brakes, two broken windows.

Out on a Limb. In Los Angeles, claiming innocence when detectives questioned him about bookmaking, Ralph Pattison said he had been trying to place a bet, not take one, was arrested when the officers found $3,233 in cash and a betting slip in his wooden leg.

Cover-Up. In Yorktown, Ind., after a dump truck accidentally dropped a load of hot asphalt while heading for an out-of-town highway job, the truckers thought quickly, gave the street an unscheduled surfacing, went on their way.

War of Attrition. In Zanesville, Ohio, filing a divorce petition, Glen E. Fouch charged that his wife threw away his false teeth and spectacles, poured out his heart medicine, cut his clothes into shreds, broke a coffee cup over his head.

Masked Intention. In Akron, when ten patrolmen surrounded him in a grocery after a hurry-up call from the proprietor, Irvin Harris untied a handkerchief from his swollen face, explained that he wore it because all his teeth had been pulled the day before and his jaw hurt.

Pedal Extremity. In Manhattan, chasing a suspicious-looking bicyclist, Detective John Keeney saw his quarry slipping away as the patrol car jammed in traffic, grabbed a delivery boy's bicycle, nabbed Bicycle Thief Camelio Vanterpool 35 blocks from where the chase started.

Time to Retire. In Bingham, Utah, workers were threatened with "some disciplinary action" after they lost control of a 1,800-lb. road-grader tire they were rolling to amuse themselves during lunch hour, saw it careen down a mile-deep copper mine and vanish into a roadway, where it rolled to a town three-quarters of a mile away, bounced 30 ft. in the air, ripped open the second floor of a house.

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