Advice from the Deacon

"Deacon Jack" Hurley, otherwise known as the "Conscience of Seattle," is a manager of professional prizefighters who suffers variously, according to his outraged complaint, from ulcers, insomnia, sinusitis, rheumatism and Republicans. Somehow he still manages to practice his furious skill for conning the public into supporting pugilists of wildly assorted talents, e.g., Billy ("The Fargo Express") Petrolic and Harry ("Kid") Matthews. In the current issue of Sport, Deacon Jack Hurley spells out his secrets for survival in a world beset by the dangers of women and other amateurs.

P: "Don't lead with your chin, and keep your pants off the floor. Don't sign with the I.B.C. and don't watch television. They both pick your pocket."

P: "Keep your habits simple. Eat plenty of meat, bread, potatoes and gravy, and forget the fancy stuff like vee-she-swa. If your mother can't cook, run away from home."

P: "Never trust a guy who smokes a pipe. They sit around and look thoughtful, but all the time they're figuring how they can steal a hot stove."

P: "Every young man should learn a hobby. A hobby will keep him relaxed and easy to live with. The best hobby I know is learning how to handle money."

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