Danse Macabre. In Prae, Thailand, arrested for the midnight stabbing of her dance partner, Wan Pen (Full Moon) explained wearily to the cops: "We had been dancing to every tune throughout the evening, and I was dead tired."

Trial Run. In Bad Axe, Mich., making his debut as the town's new police chief, Earl Rapson left the key in the force's only scout car when he walked across the street to chat with a friend, turned in time to see the car disappear around a corner.

School of Experience. In North Bergen, N.J., Hudson County Detective Dominick Meatto took three rookie cops for a training ride, said, "Now this is how you stop a car and search it," flagged down a passing auto, promptly arrested Driver Willie Smith when he found a loaded, unlicensed .45 in his glove compartment.

Self-Portrait. In Great Bend, Kans., Donley Hurd published a notice in the daily Tribune: "You are hereby notified that you shall cash no checks supposed to be signed by me because I never have any money in the bank and never give any checks unless I'm too drunk to know what I'm doing."

For the Birds. In Manhattan, Joseph Albanese was fined $10 in traffic court for unnecessary auto-horn blowing despite his explanation that his pet crow, Oleander, hopped on the steering wheel and tooted the horn.

Neither Rain nor Snow. In Joliet, Ill., arrested after postal inspectors found eleven bags of parcel-post packages, two cartons and two suitcases full of undelivered letters, cards, newspapers and magazines strewn over the floor of his bedroom, ex-Postman Alvin Timm explained that he had dumped the mail because he is subject to bunions and tires easily.

Fan. In Palo Alto, Calif., police arrested Herman Dale Reid, 31, suspected of having a hand in nine embezzlement cases, as he stood staring admiringly at his own "Wanted" circular in the downtown post office.

People's Choice. In Duluth, Vincent Murphy sadly announced that he would have to abandon his campaign for election to the mayor's office after he was sentenced to 90 days in the workhouse for nonsupport.

Pillar of Learning. In Garber, Okla., the editors of the Free Press, who had moved to a new office, apologized for a rash of misspellings in recent editions of the newspaper: "Please excuse. Most of the words we use frequently and cannot spell are written correctly on the wall in our old location."

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