Go-Getter. In Fond du Lac, Wis., fined $65 for reckless driving, Gerald W. Oelerich was tagged an additional $10 for contempt after he interrupted court proceedings to ask the judge: "You wouldn't lend me the money, would you, Your Honor?"

The Fan. In ^Pasadena, Calif., David Gordon was arrested for threatening null a deadly weapon when, at a local movie, he got annoyed at three popcorn-chewing men who sat behind him, whirled in his seat and stuck a .32-cal. revolver in their faces, ordered: "Keep your mouths shut!"

Self-Help. In Long Branch, N.J., arrested for stealing $104.23 from parking meters, Tailor Frank A. Tomaini proudly announced that he had taken a correspondence course in keymaking, had devised two keys that would open all of the city's 1,000 meters.

Ukase. In Holyoke, Mass., a bill to extend vacations of city employees was vetoed in absentia by Mayor Edward Seibel in a letter sent from Miami, where he was spending his vacation.

Free Ride. In Cleveland, after being flown across the country after his statement to Los Angeles police that he had murdered a girl in Ohio, Harvey Lee Rush admitted that it was all a yarn: "It was the only way I knew of getting to Cleveland for the holidays."

Fluid Drive. In Hoboken. N.J., Bar Owner Albert W. Dreisbach was convicted of drunken driving, fined $200 despite his defense plea: "I just had my car winterized, and the fumes must have stayed on my person."

Wassailsman. In Sparta, Wis., booked on a charge of procuring beer for minors, Farmer Gilbert Paasch was fined $350, despite his defense plea: "I just like kids."

Nom de Plume. In Dayton, William H. Moone was brought to trial in a federal court on a forgery charge, accused by Plaintiff Lewis Wilson, who can neither read nor write, of signing his name on a Social Security check.

On the House. In Washington. D.C., Charles Edward Beard was sentenced to a year in jail for stealing Government property after he drove up to a large city comfort station, climbed to the roof under cover of darkness, coolly hacked off 373 Ibs. of sheet copper, drove away.

Small Talk. In Gastonia, N.C., stopped by police for wrong-way driving on a oneway street, J. C. Crump protested that he had not had a drink all day, was arrested and fined $100 when his four-year-old son piped from the back seat: "Why daddy, you just took a drink when you let mamma out at the employment office."

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