Sealed Orders. In Manhattan, Edward Mulstay, 54, returned from an unplanned, 19-day trip to Europe, explained ruefully that he had left his hearing aid at home when he went to a bon-voyage party aboard the liner America, failed to hear the ail-ashore whistle blow.

Empathy. In Los Angeles, when complaints about property-tax hikes began to pour into the county tax-collector's office. Assistant Assessor R. E. Bouck nervously warned his staff not to further inflame taxpayers by displaying "undue hilarity" in corridors or public elevators.

Person to Person. In Chattanooga, Moonshiner Bob Renfro spotted sheriff's men closing in on his house, hurriedly poured his homemade liquor down the sink, discovered too late that Chief Herbert Grant was waiting with an open jug at the other end of the drain.

The People's Voice. In Waterville, Ohio, asked if they preferred to sell the municipal electric-power plant or issue $155,000 worth of bonds to improve it, local voters solemnly answered yes to both questions.

Return Engagement. In Rhinelander, Wis.. awaiting sentence for robbing the home of Phillip Richert, ex-Convict Carl R. Thompson. 31, broke out of jail, was recaptured and sentenced to two terms for burglary after Richert caught him in his home a second time.

Therapy. In Oldham, England, after idly watching his wife go through a marriage ceremony with another man, Roy Harwood, 25, explained to police: "I thought if she committed bigamy she would go to prison, and it would do her good."

Dark Victory. In Springfield, Ill., after sternly cautioning delegates to the annual convention of the Illinois Association of County Clerks not to tell anybody about the surprise testimonial dinner planned for that evening, association officers went to pick up Guest of Honor Charles Lowry, discovered that he had checked out of his hotel and left town the day before.

How Do I Love Thee? In South Bend, Ind.. Mrs. Ina M. Gillett, 52, suing for, divorce, testified that for eight years her husband had not spoken to her except to ask, once each year, when he was making out their joint income tax, how much money she was earning.

Straw Vote. In Hammond, Ind., Republican Mayor Vernon Anderson gracefully bowed to the wishes of the 18,000 people who signed a petition urging him to run for another term, ran again, lost by a score of 15,937 votes to his opponent's 16,359.

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