The Drowsy Headmaster

For seven years, the 1,200 patient citizens of the farming village of Ifs in Northwest France had put up with Headmaster Jacques Meriel of the town's new elementary school. After all, they told each other, he was a harmless, peaceful sort of man. They attributed his strange habits to the fact that he had once been run down by a Nazi truck. But last week the 46-year-old headmaster was the center of a sudden explosion of wrath. Reason: his incorrigible habit of falling asleep in class.

No matter what he happened to be doing, he seemed able to doze off. He might be writing on the blackboard, and then, right in the middle of a sentence, collapse in a cloud of chalk dust for a nap. On such occasions, his pupils made the most of things. Sometimes they tied him to his chair; other times they would simply take French leave--firmly locking the headmaster in as they went.

All this began to have a disastrous effect on the academic standards of Ifs. In seven years, only one of M. Meriel's pupils managed to win the official certificat necessary to go on to secondary school. Worried parents began sending their children to schools out of town. Gradually, the Ifs enrollment dropped to 80.

Last week, as French schools opened for the fall term, only 22 Ifs pupils showed up. The rest were out on a parent-instigated strike. Petitions were sent to the District Inspector of Education in Caen and even to the Ministry in Paris. Farmers and aproned mothers paraded the streets with placards denouncing the headmaster as a "solid ass."

At first, village officials begged parents to send their children back to school pending "decisions from higher authorities.'' Then, when the villagers gathered for a mass protest meeting, the officials decided to compromise. While awaiting a new "arrangement," they had decided to put M. Meriel on sick leave and turn his classes over to his wife. At week's end, things were quiet again in Ifs--especially in the vicinity of Headmaster Meriel himself. "If they're not pleased," said he drowsily, "let them promote me to a secondary school. All the same, it will be difficult for me to leave this nice building and my pleasant home."

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